A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been having an affair with a guy from school. he has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for about a year. we have not had sex, including oral sex, but we have been messing around and spending nights together. this has been going on for about two weeks. my friends have called me nasty but i think i need advice from someone who has some experience with this. i'm so confused and i don't know if i should continue what we have been doing. i know that if we continue, we will eventually have sex. i don't have any major feelings for him but i like him alot and i don't care if he breaks up with his girlfriend or not. i just need some opinions and advice on the situation. am i a bad person?please help!
View related questions:
affair, oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): Hi,I think you think very hard about this before you indeed cuase a lot of hurt, I have read so many stories in the past like yours and they always end the same way, I have just read the story by James45 "My life of devastation caused by an affair" a couple of days ago and it should be a warning to anyone out their of the hurt caused to people when affairs happen, take a read at this story and see if you ever want to be involved with this kind of devastation as he puts to someones life, I also agree with everyone else you are young and do you really want to find out what goes around comes around? Have pride in yourself and wait for the right one to come along and he will, if he is willing to cheat with you he will also cheat on you.
A
female
reader, meforyou  +, writes (31 October 2008):
i think you are both bad people. my mom n dad was together for 15 years before she found out he was cheating on her with her best friend, i remember how heart broken she was! might be slightly different because they're young and not married but its still messing with peoples emotions. you know what they say, whay goes around comes around, im sure when it happens to you you'll know what you should've done!!!! as for the girl i think the lad should finish with her and you two should get together, trash suits trash!
...............................
A
female
reader, tanpopo +, writes (31 October 2008):
 1. you're leading him on
2. who says you won't end up with feelings for him?
3. you are not a bad person- but you are behaving like one simply by asking what to do.
you should know the right thing to do in this situation. put yourself in his girlfriends shoes (unless she is a cheater, too.) how would you feel if you were faithful to a guy who was telling you to your face he loves you and fooling around with someone he may not care for on the same level behind your back?
you also are not respecting yourself very much. get some dignity for yourself- and if i were you, i might even tell his girl.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): What goes around comes around darling. Have more class than this...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): No you are not a bad person, but if you are not careful you are about to make a bad mistake.
Stop fooling around with this guy. If you don't have any serious feelings for him don't lead him on. Think about your self respect, your dignity and your reputation. How you will be ridiculed by your friends. Sexual activities should be with a partner that you care for and have a close intimate bond with.
Sorry I don't mean to lecture, but what seems like fun today, can cause you lots of hurt and tears tomorrow.
Think carefully and do the wise and respectable thing.
It is your choic, it is your life!
In closing, a quote from Virginia Woolf:
"To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves".
...............................
A
female
reader, ars07k +, writes (30 October 2008):
Personally, I would never do what you are doing because I am someone in a committed relationship but I do worry about girls like you. My question to you is, do you really think he wouldn't do the same thing to you if he were in a relationship with you? Put yourself in that poor girl's shoes. How do you think she will feel when she finds out about it and would you want to be her? I think it is horrible what you are doing and that guys sounds like a jerk. I agree with your friends, you are nasty. Mess around with someone who doesn't already have a girlfriend. You're just causing needless drama.
...............................
|
