A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Well i met this guy at Christmas briefly and i got his msn address. We've spoken ALOT and now I'm going to meet him next week with a friend of mine. He says he really fancies me and i really like him too, im just worried things will be really awkward as when i meet new people sometimes i can be quite shy. how can i open up and show him how great i really am? It will be real awkward and I'm a bit nervous!
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male
reader, Sparks +, writes (19 May 2006):
 First, there’s no problem about feeling shy. I would say a majority feels at least a little awkward in these situations, even if in different degrees.
The fact you are bringing a friend along is going to help you a lot. If you suddenly run out of things to say for a minute or two, she can fill in the gap (by the way, I hope you didn’t have the bad idea of bringing a male friend along).
Although your conversation should flow naturally, since you’ve already talked a lot over the web, just before you meet you may want to organize your thoughts so you have some fun subjects (funny old stories, for instance) to bring up in case there are a few uncomfortable silences. The first minutes might turn out to be the most difficult, so it’s perfectly fine to repeat things you have already talked about in the web like work, studies, background, hobbies, etc.
It’s also fine talking about trivial stuff, like how pleased you are to finally meet, how lucky you are for meeting such an interesting person randomly in the Internet, etc. Small compliments are always nice.
Don’t worry about impressing the guy with original lines or grand, in depth comments. Be yourself, be natural and you should slowly start feeling comfortable. He should like you for what you are, so behave normally, don’t try to be what you think he wants a girl to be. In other words, don’t worry too much about making “mistakes”.
I agree with the others poster – you can tell him you are anxious, that will not necessarily be associated with insecurity, he will only think you really care about the moment, and that’s obviously good. Just do it before you meet, not when you are already there, since it could make things a bit tenser.
I don’t know what you’ve planned, but since you are probably going to sit down to eat something or at least to have a cup of coffee, that will help you keep busy if you feel you’ve temporarily run out of things to say.
A
female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (22 April 2006):
 My suggestion... forward this question to him! He is probably feeling just as shy and nervous. Let him know that you are feeling anxious and I am sure he will understand if you are a little quieter than you normally are when chatting to him online.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2006): you've chatted to this guy and so obviously have things in common-so theres no need to be nervous. theres cleary an attraction that goes beyond physical-so the tricky parts over really. the conversation will flow without you even having to try because you've talked so much already and so you'll natuarally relax.dont worry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2006): I must say I am glad to hear you are going to meet him with a friend, as these situations can sometimes be a little troublesome. You should definately meet in a public place too. The thing I do to help myself open up a little more is to remember that I have to be myself and say what's on my mind at the time, and not try to be someone I'm not. If the person I'm meeting is going to like me, they've got to like me for who I am. See, I figure, there's always lots of thoughts running through my head, so if I have nothing to say, I just share some of those thoughts. I've become a lot more able to kind of speak as I think, and now people generally see me as a pretty friendly person. Smile a lot, too, it'll at least let him know that you're happy to be out with him. Meeting new people is always kind of akward, but remember, this guy does know you somewhat. Let your nervous energy fuel you! I really hope I made sense here, because I just kind of started typing. Good luck to you! Have fun! Hope it all works out!
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