A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is probably a common question but I haven't been able to pinpoint a situation that I feel I can completely relate to. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now (I'm 19 andshe's 24). The first half of our relationship was amazing. We hung a lot but not too much. And every time was so special. Up till about 2 months ago she suddenly stopped the desire to spend time with me. We went from having sleepovers 3-4 times a week to once every two weeks or so. I try to suggest doing different things that I know even she wanted to do thinking maybe that "monotonous-ness" was kicking in. But she's just unenthusiastic about hanging out. At that we don't have sex NEARLY as much. She used to be a big party person and a skater chick but she has matured a lot apparently before I met her. I can totally respect that but I'm just so bored with our relationship up till now. I tried to talk to her about this literally last night saying that I was scared that our relationship might get boring due to us not doing anything together any more and basically she told me "I don't know what to tell you". I'm assuming she sees nothing wrong.I adore this girl, she is such a long term keeper. She has good head on her shoulders, you can tell she is going to be a wonderful mother, all that good stuff. And I know for a fact that she hasn't lost interest with me. We were in my hot tub about a month ago and she had mentioned that she really likes our relationship. But we were also talking about how she thinks we probably won't end up getting married. We talked about that for about an hour. Then a couple days later she mentioned that conversation and how what I told her made her feel much better and confident about us. And she said her previous relationships were nothing special, skater dudes with no plans. I have things going for me and she said that's what makes her attraction to me not superficial like all her previous relationships. And I'm a lot more mature for my age so the age difference doesn't bother her at all. That being said I am going CRAZY. I don't want to just let go and regret it, like I said I adore her so damn much. We were both shocked because we started dating just for fun and had no idea how much we would grow on each other. Hopefully all I said shows my confusion as to why this is happening. Haha I know I typed a lot but I needed to let it out, I need advice! :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, marietomates +, writes (4 July 2009):
 Okay, if you're 19 and she's 24 I'm assuming she has more freedom to go to bars, clubs and go out with her friends. She also has more life experience than you. Are you being clingy? You said you know for a fact that she hasn't lost interest in you, yet she only wants to sleep with you once every two weeks? Sorry but I don't buy that. She's young and if before you were doing that 3 - 4 times a week and now it's down to once every 2 weeks there's something else going on.
You need to talk about what you both want out of your relationship. Are you happy? Is she? What would make you both happier, and what can you do to start communicating better with each other?
It's possible it's time for a break for you two to reevaluate what you mean to each other. Make sure you're both in it for the right reasons, and if you both want to be with each other, you'll find a way to make it work together. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (4 July 2009):
Maybe you need to give her space she is probably nervous about the age difference and is trying to figure out what she really wants to do . You need to do you and let things with her fall where they maybe because you are young why are talking marriage hang out have fun enjoy each other and let your relationship run its course as long as you both have fond memories it can never be a bad thing. I am older than my boyfriend and find myself over thinking our relationship because i constantly change my mind as to do i want to stay with him you have done all you can do and that is talking to her and sharing your feelings if she cant respond and let you know what she is feeling then you need to move on and just be friends that way the door for a future can remain open.
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