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I am getting weird vibes from my girlfriend in regards to her friend but I don't want to tell her to stop talking to her friend

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 November 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 November 2017)
A female New Zealand age 30-35, *ertskeez writes:

So my girlfriend had this mate that they've meet on tinder. She calls my girlfriend everyday and texts her. Practically any social media she can contact my gf. Just a couple of days ago my gf said that they've kissed. I've meet the friend and all I got was this weird vibe from her. I don't wanna tell my gf to stop talking to her. But now idk what to do.??

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 November 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntDo you find it acceptable for your girlfriend to cheat on you with another women? I find this whole post bizarre. Tinder is for hooking up with people and if you are in a relationship then why is she looking to hook up with other people. Is it an open relationship?

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (20 November 2017):

Your GF met a girl on a hookup site. Now they are in touch all the time and they have kissed. And you’re getting a weird vibe? The weird vibe you’re getting is the sexual attraction between your girlfriend and her girlfriend.

You can be an adult and ask her what’s going on but except her to tell you it’s nothing and girls kiss all the time. Which is a lie. It may be a harmless flirtation, she may be dipping her toe in the bisexual pool or she may be all in with this chick and is waiting for the right time to dump you. You may as well get to the bottom of things now rather than wait.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2017):

I'm gay. This is generalizing I know; but in the gay-culture, is not unusual for your GF or BF to find your replacement before they dump you. It means you may have been given some clues and red-flags appeared; but you just weren't seeing the forest for the trees.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2017):

Yeah, what Honeypie suggests! Ask her what's up? It's a little too in-your-face. Like she's making a preference-switch right before your eyes; or offering you a threesome without mouthing the words.

I guess this is supposed to be a straight-guy's fantasy. She's given you a mental-image you can mull over.

If my boyfriend tells me he met someone online and they've been kissing, he and I would have a problem. To boldly admit to my face he is attracted to someone who is persistently in-contact, suggests they've got something going on.

Maybe she is revealing that she is bi-sexual. Does that also mean you're to agree to an open-relationship; or is she simply taking the liberties? Is she implying you will just have to accept it?

I don't think she'd like you meeting some random lady on the internet and sharing with her that you both made-out! There's something up her sleeve. Better talk!

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A male reader, Allumeuse United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2017):

I think the best rule to follow here is that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck,then it's a duck. If she met her on Tinder and they message each other all the time and they kiss then they aren't friends even if that's what your GF says they are. They are dating! Are you sure you're not the friend?

I think your GF (if that is what she is)is taking you for a fool.You need decide what your expectations are from this relationship, exclusivity, mutual respect, truth and make sure you're on the same page. Right now I'm not sure you two are in the same relationship as each other.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 November 2017):

Honeypie agony auntHow about you ASK your GF how SHE would feel if you went on Tindr and met some guy that follows you around on social media and that you kiss?

See what she says to that.

I would be honest and tell her that 1. you get a really weird vibe from this woman and 2. you don't think it's appropriate for her to "troll" Tindr - that is NOt where you find friends. and 3. that you are not OK with her kissing other people (unless you are OK with that).

It doesn't sound like your GF has a lot of respect for your relationship. Did you two happen to meet through Tindr? Is this a new relationship or have you two dated a while?

Overall, I would put the question to her - how would she feel if eh shoe was on the other foot and YOU did the things SHE is doing... And go from there.

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