A
female
age
,
*afron
writes:I am getting tired of distrusting my husband and he says he cannot stand more accusation as he has not done anything! Just a week ago I read a text message on his mobile: he had told a female work colleague that he would meet her for a run (that morning, Sunday, at 10am). He had not mentioned any of this to me but when I asked him he said he wasn't going anyway but had not told me as I would react badly. Another text I found was to another female at work: 'Why did you walk past without saying hello?' I feel more like his mother telling him off as well as wondering if I should be letting it bother me at all (we have been together years and as far as I know he has not been physically unfaithful). He has agreed that ending emails with x or xxx to females who are not family or close friends of ours is probably not a good idea- but it took us over a messy Christmas to resolve that one!I know this sounds so petty but around 5 years ago I found my husband had been 'phoning women from 'lonely hearts' ads in the paper: he explained how he felt I might leave him as he had problems with work (self-employed at that time). Of course I was sickened but our children were young and anyway, he assured me he was not planning to actually meet the females.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): I recently had my husband take a polygrapgh, it was relatively inexpensive. I you go and only ask if he had had sex or sexual contact in any way shape or form. He may be playing russian roulette aiming the gun at you and you are not even aware of it....if he is sleeping around he is exposing you to posiible life threatening diseases.
Dont wait, take him to a polygraph, if he refuses you alos got your answer. Dont be naive, they will continue to lie and lie even when the truth is waved in their face. Its not worth it to you and your kids.
A
female
reader, safron +, writes (9 June 2009):
safron is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy husband, in his response, stressed he was never intending anything serious to happen. Later, some months after, he said he felt he had had some sort of breakdown at the time due to his work worries. I still though found/find it hard to come to terms with as I was just into a new teaching job (V stressful and demanding). It was horrid, horrid to find, as I did, yellow post it notes with his notes: women's names, numbers and physical details. I just don't know how he could do it to me. It has made him hard to trust and that is why I would like comments on the other seemingly less worrying issues I have mentioned.
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A
female
reader, safron +, writes (9 June 2009):
safron is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help!
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A
male
reader, holikdad  +, writes (9 June 2009):
Remember cheaters are liars, your husband is a cheater. Don't believe word one that comes out of his mouth.
If he's calling women in singles ad's then he's already hooked up with others or he's planning to do it real soon.
Put your foot down, don't yell don't scream, and don't say anything you'll regret. But say to him in a normal voice "What you're doing is unacceptable to me and your family, and if I find out that you're continuing to do it I will ask you to leave".
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