A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused, seriously: I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and it hasn't been perfect, but I am at a loss with what is going on now. We talk to eachother everyday, text, msn ect and now it is going on 4 days and nothing. Lately he's been 'pricky' and I have been the one to initiate talking but we both went out with friends on saturday and I haven't heard from him since. Everyone I've talked to tells me that it is not my job to be contacting him all the time and that I have already put up with to much from him. (we've had a couple really bad moments) So, I decided that there was no reason he couldn't call me and now ... nothing. Not a text, call and he's seen me on msn and has done nothing. I love him dearly, but I am getting fed up with this game playing b.s. I believed him when he said he loves me, but his actions say other wise... I don't know what to do anymore. I need 'outside' help. Everyone I talk to is to opinionated about my relationship as it is.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (24 April 2009):
 Look.. This is an advice site and you can
Take it or leave it. If u don't like what I wrote
Ignore it ..why are you being defensive
At what I wrote?I did in no way judge you at all..
I wrote purely based on the information
That YOU!!! Provided for me!
As for game playing..it was obvious to
Me he was playing you and I was giving
You advice to protect yourself!!
Take a step back and look at your situation
Again from a different perspective and not
Your own! If you don't learn our mistakes
Will will continue to make it!!!
Sorry if it wasn't what u wanted to hear
But don't kill the messenger. Again I have
No idea why you are so hostile towards me
.... Unless the truth hurts!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst, allow me to say that he has NEVER been the "complete source of my happiness" & I believe that you missed the point in that I do not want to play games anymore... your suggestions are within the realm of game playing... I was looking for adult, mature advice from people who do not game play. I have never "demanded" anything from my now ex other than monogamy.
(I found out he was cheating, ergo... we are done)
I want to say that I have a very demanding career & a child, so no man has ever been my sloe focus in life.
I would like to point out that although you believe your advice is helpfull, it approaches the situation as if I am whining about things. Without all the details, you gave a very judgemental response. Not all women put thier entire focus on thier relationship & all the women I know who do, gave the advice that you did.
I am in my early 30's & do not have the patience required for game playing tactics. I work in a very demanding field of the entertainment industry & I am raising a child (previous relationship) on my own... had you have had these details, perhaps your responce to my then issue would have been more insightfull & less opinionated.
I would like to thank everyone who gave me heart-felt, honest advice that was blunt & to the point (as adults should do) & as far as "sappygirl" is concerned... maybe you should think about the your own issues before you pass judgement on someone else's.
Thank You to those of you that gave helpfull advice. It was very much appriciated. :)
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (18 April 2009):
You need to give him his space. Don't focus on him anymore.
He is slowly distancing himself from you because he wants to
Break up with you and preparing himself mentally.
You have 2 choice. Break up with him first before he dumps you.
This will shock him. Or give him space and time to miss you so
He will come back to you. The more you push him and initiate
Calls and demand an answer he will run further away.
Don't act needy and focus on your life and not him.
He should not be the complete source of your happiness.
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