A
male
age
30-35,
*evin3007
writes:ok let me introduce my self my name is kevin i am 16 i am a boy and i am gay but no body knows that i fell for this guy damn it he's so hot we're in the same class we're best friends and just my luck he got a girl friend recently and whenever we go out for a journey or a pecnic or what ever he brings her with him i hate to see them kissing in front of me i got really jealous angry and i feel like i can't breath so i go to an other place and in the whole way back i become terriblly silent and rude and i hate the way they ask me :kevin what's wrong? some thing bad we did or said ? so i have to lie and say:no i am just tired guys and i have to smile for them .....and when she's not around i hate the way he start talking about her like how much amazing she is or how much he likes to kiss her and even one time he told me that he saw in his dreams that they were making love in a hot tub (sh*t)....but despite his girl friend is so kind with me i feel like she's hiding some thing i feel like he's the only one who's in love with her not both ......any who what should i do should i tell him how i feel or should i keep it for my self and let the jealousy eating me alive ....i am so lost and desperate please guys help me ....
View related questions:
best friend, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): so much i love
A
male
reader, kevin3007 +, writes (1 March 2010):
kevin3007 is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok guys thanks a lot for you support and i think that i made a decision i am going to tell him how i feel about him tomorow it's crazy but i think i should do it just like you said chances are and let's see what will happen pleaze cross your fingers and wish me a good luck ....i'll send you guys the news...thanks again
...............................
A
male
reader, HarryFlashman +, writes (28 February 2010):
I wouldn't tell him about your feelings for him, since he is straight and in a relationship with someone else. The likelihood is that it would just make him feel uncomfortable. It could make him avoid you altogether.
Telling him you are gay, on the other hand, is fine -- just look for a good opportunity to be upfront about that.
The reality of life is that lots of people are off-limits for one reason or another -- their sexuality, in a relationship, or other limitations. There are still plenty of fish, find someone else.
...............................
A
female
reader, everlastinglove +, writes (27 February 2010):
If you feel like your friend is someone who that if you tell your gay and that you have feelings for him, that he'll understand and be cool with it then i would tell him. Say that you wouldn't try anything on him and that you just need him to be happy, that you need a friend you can trust and that hes the only one that you can trust. If you think he'll act unrationally and freak out and not want to be around you its probably best not to tell him your gay. Instead tell him that you miss the alone time with just him and you and that your kinda jealous and if he could just not talk about her so much all the time. If hes a true friend he'll understand. I understand what its like to have forbidden love problems read my question my life is a mess. If you don't know how he'll react talk to him about gay guys a little bring it up calmly to see his reaction but don't over do it or he'll catch on. You could do it in the form of a game like would you rather. and as one of the questions ask would you rather have a gay guy friend who secretly loves you or have a girl friend that is secretly gay. Laugh about it when you ask don't do it so seriously hope this helps good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): There are two things going on here..one is that you haven't been completely honest with your friend yet, and the other is that it has led to you feeling terrible inside. Never hide your feelings about people you like, because it only leads to heartache. The one thing that will have to change after you tell him the truth is that you stop feeling dejected or sad, and come to terms with the fact that he likes this gf of his, and noone can change that but him. If you don't deal with it on the inside, it will ruin your friendship with him as well. The reason being, he will most likely ditch you before his gf if he gets annoyed by any lashing out of sorts, because they'll usually get rid of the best friend first, though I've also seen it go the other way the odd time.. Just let him know that even though you feel so crushed, you're going to give it every effort to think as friends first, and not ever be bothered too much when they're together, or he talks about her. Let him know that he can still say whatever great things he wants about her, too. If he understands well enough how difficult it was for you to admit your feelings to him because you don't ever want your friendship to change, he'll respect you more for it. This will actually be a great test of his character toward you, as a friend, because some people may feel too pressured into being different when they're with their girlfriend and friend who feels jilted at the same time. It may seem awkward for him to get used to, as well. With any luck, he'll have the mind not to talk dirty about her or rub her in too much, when he talks to you as a friend, because he might just remember how it disturbs you.. The main thing to remember after you tell him how you feel, is to really try to accept the fact that he likes someone else as much as you like him, and move on from there. Maybe you'll find another guy to love just as much, or hey...maybe one day things will go sour with his gf and he might just have feelings for guys, if you're lucky, possibly you.. It's always good to dream, but never good to obsess over the dreams you have. Just try to do the right thing, and that will keep the negative feelings at bay. It's very hard to overcome certain things in life, but just concentrate on how much your friendship with him means to you, before anything else, and then at least you can say you did everything you could on your part, to be his friend, and be by his side, for him, not just your own feelings. It's sounds like you have the potential to do so, but you can't go that extra mile until the honesty is complete. Good luck, and stay strong in life. Embrace and enjoy the obstacle courses life throws your way, and you'll always see things in a positive, happy way. In this case, you can be happy for your buddy and how excited he is to have his gf, and you can feel blessed for being his friend and knowing him how you already know him.
...............................
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (27 February 2010):
 I'm really sorry about your situation, and I think that it's an unfortunate lesson in life that everyone has to go through. I want you to know that you're not alone! People fall for people all the time who they don't really have a chance of ending up with. I think it's just a fact of life.
Anyway, when considering this situation, you have to consider your friend. He's obviously very happy with the person he is with right now. It really sounds that he is straight as far as anyone on the outside can tell. As for how she feels about him, I think you are a little bias (and rightfully so) and trying to make a good reason of why he shouldn't be with her in your head. Looking at what you provided, it sounds like he isn't interested in being in a relationship with another guy. That being said, chances are if you told him how you feel, he wouldn't return the feelings. At worst extremes, he might not even want to continue the friendship. On the other hand, if you don't think you can suffer through being just his friend without finding out if there is a small chance that things might change, then tell him how you feel. You just have to weigh out what is most important to you. Are you willing to be just friends and accept who he is? Can you even be happy that way? Or would you be willing to accept him possibly not wanting to be friends, but at least you tried?
It's all up to you. Personally if he's a really good friend, someone who you don't want to lose ever, then stay friends and start looking for other potential relationships. The distraction will allow this instance to fizzle out a bit, and you won't be hurting as much. Best of luck to you.
...............................
|
