A
female
age
51-59,
*ia1
writes:I have been concentrating on my children for 4 years since I split up from my husband. This year I am finally learning to love myself again and do things for me. I started running and lost weight and I feel good about myself again. Only I feel so very lonely and I wonder if I have formed an unnatural attachment to a man at work. He is 13 years younger than me and of course this concerns me, but he is mature and kind, very caring (we work in caring profession) and I can't stop thinking about him. Half of me wishes he would disappear off the planet and the other half wishes that somehow we could be together. As you can see I am extremely confused and I could really do with some good advice as this is making me really up and down.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Hey there,
All I can say 'been there, done that' because I have...have also tried the younger guy thing and that particular guy didn't work out. My current partner is three years younger than me and that is working out for now!!! right... back to you....
You call it an 'unnatural attachment' so I think in your mind you may think your a little needy. I say that loneliness is the perfect motivator for meeting new people but not for getting into a bad relationship. Perhaps this younger man gives you some attention but it might not be the kind of attention that leads to a fulfilling relationship.
Have you tried dating other people? Dating after divorce or seperation is a heady experience. It's a learning curve where you discover what your really searching for and who you really are within a relationship. If done right, it's also a lot of fun. Many people meet new potential partners through hobbies and activities, other like to date from the internet...it's all worth a try and may divert your attention away from the work guy and make things seem less intense. Have him as a friend by all means but forming an 'unnatural attachment' isn't good for your positivity.
Your just beginning to appreciate and love yourself again and have taken the time to improve yourself...the next step is to cure your loneliness, but take as much care with this as you have with yourself. Take things slowly and when it's right...it will definitely not feel 'unnatural' at all.
The very best of luck to you
Aunty Em xxx
A
female
reader, mia1 +, writes (24 November 2009):
mia1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for taking the time to reply to me. That really does make more sense than you could know. Even if it isnt what I want to hear. So thank-you
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