A
female
age
51-59,
*iselle1969
writes:i have been in a relationship with a man who is 20 years older than me for a year now. i have a young son and he has three grown up ones. we love eachother,but,he has a very bad temper and wont have any of opposite opinions from me if they dont fit in with his. he usually starts sulking after either a misunderstanding or some topic that dont even matter..i am fed up with his grumpy behaviour and him switching off his love after every argument. please help me think.thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, giselle1969 +, writes (24 February 2009):
giselle1969 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank for your comments. yes,you are right that he has a big problem in his veins..!!and when i look back his background,i see a spoiled and stubborn man whose orders were always accepted. now,he cant get that always from me and that really makes him show his otherside. yes,i do think that i should leave him,but,in so many ways my life has changed because of this relationship and it is phisically very complicated to move away without lots of worries..
A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (24 February 2009):
 You know, the older we get, the more "set in our ways" we get too. I guess our habits as well as our philosophies have also stick and form a plaque on our veins LOL
It is now up to you to either stick with the plaques (pun intended) of this grumpy behaviour, or try to chip the plaques away - little by little - by communicating to him how it affects your affection, or basically, walk away from him and just be friends (as oppose to a romantic relationship)
Good luck!
Cat
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A
female
reader, giselle1969 +, writes (24 February 2009):
giselle1969 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you Gina. you are very right with what you just said.his children are very worried about their dads inheritence and they constantly keep close eye on what he is doing with me.and yes,they do put ideas in his head,like if he marries,i will divorce and take his %50 of everything.!!! they dont mind their own business,in fact,they think they have the right to interfare with any decision he makes. i am running out of solutions and it is making me very unhappy. thanks again
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A
female
reader, giselle1969 +, writes (24 February 2009):
giselle1969 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you Steve.i do agree with what you are saying.if he had accepted that he is the one who needed help,i would have done that already.but,like you said,he wont change his ways.i do not like arguments and it is often me who makes the effot to calm the situation down and bring back the love thing. but, sometimes i think that , he is using these arguments in order to drive me away,so that he will look nice to his kids.should i leave him or is it worth having this hassle which i dont need at my age. i only wanted a loving and caring man who would understand and respect me for who i am. thank you again.
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A
female
reader, giselle1969 +, writes (24 February 2009):
giselle1969 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks Gina. i have tried doing this many times,he is just not having it.he wont accept any other opinions rather than his.he says he loves me and when he is nice,i really do believe his honesty. but,when this kind of arguments occur,he is a completely different man. someone with a cold heart and he even makes awful comments about my character,stays grumpy for days..we also have lots of opposition from his side of the family who put lots of pressure on him. like, trying everything to stop him from marrying me,which i believe is to do with inheritence issues. i am really confused. i do need to solve this problem. thank you
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