A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I've just started uni and I've already got feelings for one of my housemates which is essentially breaking the cardinal rule of freshers. It started when he was being really sweet trying to encourage me to get involved with of the flat (I'm quite shy and although the rest of the house is lovely their is 10 of us and it kind of intimates me) and we ended up chatting and he's lovely and such a gentleman. After that I starting thinking oh well I've made a friend but since then he's gone out of his way to buy me drinks, chat to me, dance with me, help me home when I'm drunk and make sure i don't get harassed by guys on nights out yet has not made a move on me and honestly I've started to develop feelings for him to the point which yesterday, after admitting drinking quite a lot, decided to sort of exaggerate my drunkness because I knew he would look after me and hold my hand in the club which sounds really psycho now I'm sober. It's got to the point where the rest of my house has started making jokes and stuff because I'm "stereotypical more physically attractive than him" in some people's eyes. Anyway I have to live with this guy for at least the rest of the year and I don't know if I should warn him I have feeling or what to do because it would kill me if he brought another girl over.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 September 2015):
 I agree with Tisha.
Chill, little lady. :) School has BARELY started and you are getting yourself into a tizzy over a room-mate.
Take the month (at least) off drinking, you can still have fun with friends just without the alcohol. Focus on school.
You are not falling in love, you are infatuated with him. I don't think you really know him well enough to call it "love" so relax and try to avoid being this "needy desperate" chick that your other housemates seem to start thinking you are. You really DON'T want that to be your reputation.
I get that he is nice and sweet, but If you really think there is something there - it will be there in a month or two or more. Get to know him as a person, not your protector.
And who knows? Maybe he sees you as the little sister he never had, maybe more. But for now. You really DO need to relax and focus on school.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (29 September 2015):
 Just because he's your house mate doesn't mean he can't be your boyfriend! Tell him how you feel and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 September 2015):
 You've just started uni and getting to know this guy and already it would kill you if he brought another girl over? Whoa. Whoa, girl, whoa.
How much are you drinking? And yes, it does sound a bit, well, not psycho as you put it, but extremely needy and a bit manipulative.
This isn't how you get over being "quite shy."
Are you struggling with uni? Because what I am wondering, based on my own personal experience, is that you are focusing on this situation rather than deal with something else that is bothering you at uni.
As in, you don't feel comfortable, you feel out of place, the only way you feel comfortable is when you drink a lot and this housemate has been kind to you. I think you are attaching to him because he feels like a life preserver or life jacket. He's trying to get you to be comfortable. As you haven't really interacted with him beyond the drinking stuff, you don't really know him that well.
It's only September, you have a whole year to get through.
How about we suggest this: you don't drink for the next month. You go out and enjoy your time with your friends in the club but you don't do shots or get drunk. Drink water with lime wedges, say you're on a personal cleanse and can't drink alcohol, whatever, make it up. Just don't drink.
Then after a month, come back here and report on how uni is going and what the situation is with this flatmate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2015): Who cares about cardinal rules and why should you.Now you are at uni its your chance to enjoy life and you feel attracted to this guy so why not give him a hint like lets go to the cinema together or any excuse ..I dont see how it could hurt in your eyes or anyone elses unless he was secretly gay in which case you 'd be wasting your time.
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