A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have somewhat of a problem; I think I'm falling for my gf but I don't know how to tell her. She's one year older than me which means that after next semester she's off to college and probably out of town. We've been close friends all of highschool and I've never wanted anything more.Recently however, I've developed feelings for her. And they're genuine feelings too; I'm not interested in sex or the fame of going out with a senior, I just want to be with her and perhaps fall in love later on. I feel I have to do or say something but I guess I'm just afraid of risking our perfect best friendship I've come to love.Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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best friend, not interested in sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): This does seem like a real spark of love and not lust.
Maybe should should try to tell her exactly what you have put in this question, i.e. how you've suddenly developed feelings for her, you realise that it is love you feel, and even that you're afraid of ruining your friendship with her.
Seeing as she is your friend she should understand how you feel - and hopefully she might feel the smae too. Unfortunately there is no way of finding out unless you ask her yourself!!
But in the end it is you choice of what to do...
Follow your heart... x x x
A
female
reader, Crisy  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 just tell her if its supposed to be itll happen, if not shell stay friends with you im sure. If shes going out of town you wont be embarressed try telling her in her last week and you wont be too scared because youll know this is your last chance. Trust me it works speaking from self experience.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Just tell her already!
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Something that struck me is a point to consider, that you might just not want her to go. You sound like you have a great friendship and it's natural for you to not want that to end.
You said you're not interested in sex, and you're not in love with her. I didn't get the impression you have feelings more than friendship for this girl.
I'm sure you are worried that she is going to go off to college, develop new friendships, have fun without you, maybe meet a guy and start a relationship, and you won't be number one anymore.
You have to consider that if you tell her you have feelings for her, it might put a big strain on your relationship if she doesn't reciprocate the feelings, and if she's moving next year, the friendship might suffer.
If you genuinely feel you have a future with your friend, and are prepared to put in the massive effort required for a ling distance relationsip if it works out, by all means go for it!
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): If you both have this great bonding friendship as you say then have the courage to let her know how you feel before it is too late. If you never ask, you'll always have the thought " WHAT IF?" later in the future. Have courage and be prepared for any response she may have about it whether its good or bad. No matter what her answer maybe, at least you'll be certain where this friendship will stand. We never know the true answer until we take matters into our own hands and figure out the answer for ourselves. You never know, what if she feels the same? When we take a little risk, its because we are not satisfied with what we have now so we do what we feel is impossible and hope for the best in return. Give it a try. Good luck!
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