A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 and a half years now and I am extremely controlling! I tell him that he cannot talk to girls and that he can't look at girls and that he can't be friends with girls! We fight all the time about this but I don't know how to change... this has been happening for about 2 years now of our relationship! I don't want him to talk to girls or be near girls because I'm afraid he's going to leave me for someone else! I do not want to be controlling any more because we fight about it every day! Can someone please help me with this situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): You need to learn to TRUST also if I'm feeling a bit like you sometimes, I think if he's going to cheat there's nothing I can do to stop him, if he's that type of guy so being controlling won't solve anything just make it worse.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the websites...im going to take a look at them!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, im not really sure!
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (25 March 2009):
 Have a look at these links, they'll help you with your confidence.
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/self_esteem.htm
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/page/page.cfm/tips
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
Remember, even although you don't feel confident, there isn't a big sign on your back that says "I'VE NO CONFIDENCE". What I'm trying to say is no one knows, it's something you feel on the inside. I can bet you that you come into contact every single day with people you think ooze confidence yet if you asked them they'd tell you they lacked confidence too.
These links will certainly help you build it up again and remember... your boyfriend loves you for who you are anyway, you just need to concentrate on loving yourself now!
~Eve~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHonestly, i dont know what to say to that...i dont know why i question that! but im not confident bc i feel like everyone is better then me...iv never had confidence!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (25 March 2009):
You have to THINK before you speak. Next time you see him talking to a girl be very aware of how you're feeling. You need to take back the control and tell yourself "it's okay, he's only talking to her, it's ME he loves." He must love you very very much to stay with you for 2 years with your controlling behaviour so learn to TRUST him!
Learn too to love yourself more. Next time, when you look in the mirror, don't look at the bits you don't like about yourself but instead think how you can enhance the bits you DO like! Your boyfriend loves you for who you are and what you look like. You're his world, don't doubt that! Be glad of who you are and how lucky you are that other girls look and speak to him. At the end of the day YOU are his number one! Lucky you!!! (winks).
~Eve~
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (25 March 2009):
 I'm thinking he must really love you if this has been going on for that long and he is still around. You're gonna have to learn to let love in at all costs. What I mean is that you cant be in fear of losing him. If you two are happy together then take it for what it is and be happy. It's kinda like the other guys advice, the more you press the issue the more likely it's gonna happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm not sure what is going on...im not confident at all in myself! i feel that every girl is so much prettier then me and when he talks to another girl i instantly think he likes them! and i dont know how to change this feeling!
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