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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there!To start, I'm a bit ashamed to be writing this message asI don't beleive I'm a shallow person. As a matter of fact, I really have no reason to be as I ad,it to MANY personal flaws and imperfections in me. It's not fair for me to feel the way I do...but the truth bluntly is I AM feeling the way I do, so I'm trying to get some advice regarding the situation I now am currently facing.To start with my flaws...I am 30 years old, single, have had numerous boyfriends in the past - despite 12 1/2 years of serious illnesses requiring frequent hospitalizations and 3-4 complicated surgeries and proceedures. Yet I had many relationshops within my disabilities. The last major turmoil I went through was a massive stroke during a surgery. It' a miracle I am walking, talking and still have an extensive vocabulary...However, I am mentally and emotionally attracted to a guy who also has a disability. It's an invisable disability yet it consumes much of his time. Which I can handle...The biggest problem I have is I am NOT physically attracted to him and in a spiritual level, we are on complete opposite spectrums. This is a BIG issue for me. I really want to overcome these two issues in a BIG way...but I don't know how to. We kissed for the first time and it was the most akward kiss I have ever had!!!I need some advice and BIG help!!!!Thanks for the opportunity to be entitled to this form of assistance, and I hope to hear a reply to my issues.NOTE: When sending a reply through email, please send it with the subject line saying "A Reply to Duckies question"Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2006): I'm not ashamed to say that I have, what most would regard, as an ugly boyfriend, on the outside. But on the inside he is beautiful. We connect perfectly in every way. When I am intimate with him, his looks really aren't an issue, pleasing him is much more important to me. If you love who he is, don't let his appearance bother you. Let your feelings for him wash over you, if you care about him, you'll become accustomed to him and notice the little things you like about him; his eyes, his toes, whatever, no-one is totally unattractive!
A
female
reader, twilightdiamond  +, writes (17 November 2006):
 Hey,
I know what you mean. I was once dating this guy and his best friend had a crush on me, he was very sweet, (and good looking too), but I just couldn't feel anything for him. I guess some people have chemistry, some don't.
Don't beat yourself up about not being attracted to him. You can't help it. just end the relationship gently and move on. It isn't fair to you or him to continue with something you don't feel. hope ive been helpful
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