A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a wonderful amazing guy early last year and we hit it off really well. I thought he might have been the one cos we clicked so much. He sadly had to call us quits fairly early on in the relationship because he had very serious issues he had to focus on but wanted in the future to further explore our connection if we both happened to be single at that time. He didn't have a time scale and he state he didn't exspect me to put my life on hold for him. I guess you could say i believed him but had doubts in my mind as to whether it was actually a polite bush off line. Anyhow, move forward 8 months and his problems have been sorted and he is not ready to have someone more fully in his life. I am single and curious about that connection too as i really liked him a lot ... the problem is i didn't put my life on hold and now find myself with an unplanned 11 week pregnancy to another man. I feel like i have ruined my chances to explore that connection cos i made a stupid mistake with an idiot. When i first discovered i was with child I had been tempted by a termination however i already loved the unborn baby and i'm pro-life. So my decision is to keep the baby despite however much harder my life me be because of it, i was stupid and now i have to face up to the responcibilities. You may think i shouldn't be thinking of dating whilst pregnant and in truth, i didn't think i should be either however mr seemingly prefect has come back into my life when least exspected. I don't know how he's gonna take the news - he may run screaming for the hills away from me and to be honest, i wouldn't blame him. If he doesn't run - well, i'd never exspect him to be mr replacement father or have any sort of active role in my child's life unless we were in a long committed relationship and he personally wanted to. I am not after a baby daddy - i screwed up my life and its me who has to deal with picking up the pieces, i don't need a white knight to come save me because i'll be fine. I would just like to explore the potential relationship because i REALLY liked him. I am just worried about what he's think of me and if he runs away etc. We all need company and a bit of love - it would be nice to explore the connection to see if it works out and if it doesn't, well, atleast i won't be caught up in the "what if's". Oh, i'm not easy and i don't sleep around despite the fact baby bump may suggest otherwise. Any idea what i should do in this situation? Should i tell him and if so, how. Should i wait until the baby is here or is it possible to find love even with an unborn baby looming. My dad raised two children that were not his therefore personally i never would have a problem dating a guy with kids or a pregnant ex - as long as i wasn't getting in the way of them being together etc. However not everyone is gonna be so happy and open and understanding to a situation like this - i imagine guys would run away rather that date a woman carrying another man's child. The actual baby's father was an idiot and i was an idiot for having a brief relationship with him - he is long gone and wasn't nothing to do with me. Not sure if that changes things or now, hmmm. i'm single Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 February 2010):
Well you actually sound very sensible, even if you don't think you are. You're right, you made a mistake with a man and now you have to fix it. So well done in that respect, and I wish you all the best there!
I think it's worth talking to the guy for the same reason as you. If you don't, and you never know how he feels, you might regret it later on in life. So it's worth a try. This is one of those times where you need to be honest though. I think if you meet with him, you need to just say that whilst you were broken up you made the mistake of having sex with someone, and now you're pregnant. There isn't an easy way to say it at all. You just have to be honest. Reassure him that it was nothing but a fling with a man, and also reassure him that you are willing to take time for him to get to know you again. He may run. He may not. But as you say, you'll at least know where you stand.
Also make sure you have some good friends around you at this time, just so you have a network you can count on. And good luck!
|
