A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently, maybe the past month or so, I have no been able to stop fighting with my boyfriend even when I try to avoid arguments. We just got done having a fight about how I hurt his feelings and tried to "challenge" him last night when he was play wrestling with me and I wrestled back. I didn't feel like being wrestled with. It pissed me off! And having the huge amount of pride that I do, I pushed him off. I can see how it would hurt his feelings since he was just joking around and didn't know I was mad yet. But how can he see that as a challenge? Should I be worried about his view on that? Another thing, I was grumpy this morning for about 2 minutes. But he won't let it go. To be honest, I don't even remember what I did. I can't tell whose fault these arguments are. Maybe I am really being mean! I can't tell anymore. And I'm so fed up with "talking things out" when I never feel like there's anything to talk about. And then he gets upset when he feels like I don't care enough. It's hard to care when the same thing keeps getting repeated. To be honest, I don't even know what's going on anymore. But this constant fighting is leading to me being super angry and him being really hurt. Does anyone know why we could be having these pointless arguments? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMale anon, that sounds exactly like what's going on here. I'm trying! I think things are getting better and we haven't had any major fights recently...But only time will tell. Thank you for your answers!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): My now fiancé and I went through a stage that lasted about 2 or 3 months where we would fight over stupid things. For no reason. She is very strong willed and stubborn. Don't get me wrong I love her to death and have had to learn to deal with it. She hardly ever comes to apologize after a fight. I have to talk to her first and really try hard to get her to open up. Sometimes I won't though; just so she knows I won't always be the one to make up.In short, when we are upset I have learned it's best for me to give her some time to cool off and then talk to her. Before I would always wanna talk it out but she was still upset.And she's learned she needs to be more considerate about my feelings and make more of an effort to open up and get over things easier.I would feel like she didn't care when in reality she did but was tired of fighting and talking about it. So when we did she just wanted it to be over and I took it as she didn't care about the relationship.All I can say is if you love him keep trying to calmly help him understand where you are coming from. Eventually you will learn how to deal with each other.Also talk when you aren't mad. When you are on happy terms talk about it.Also, I had a lot of time on my hands and over read things which lead to fights. Maybe that's what he's doing
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): I understand what you mean by pointless arguments i have those all the time and me and my bf have been dating for 2 & 1/2 yrs. Best thing i can suggest is that the two of you break. If you love him them try one last time to talk things out and see what happens otherwise let it go. Its not worth being stressed about. Trust me. If i wasnt so deep involved it wouldve been easier for me to leave.
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