A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help!!!I'm madly in love with this boy. We live 200 miles away and have been together for a year and a half. and we broke up a couple of weeks ago.He doesn't want me to be going out and having fun like he doesn't want me going to my high school dances and going to some parties or movies with friends, and he gets mad if I talk to guys and have a converstation with them.He wants me to prove to him how much I really do love and care for him, and suggested that I stay home from social events. But, I told him to forget about it cause I wasn't going to lose friends for someone who broke my heart. I want to prove to him that he still means my world, but he treats me so badly when were apart. When we're together its like.. I was the only female on earth that he could see.what do i do to prove i love him . what can i say to convince him hes everything to me. any sugestions ?heeellllpppppp !!!!!And is this a sertain type of abuse ?
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female
reader, Variety  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 What he's asking is completely unreasonable. I go to univeristy with my boyfriend but our homes are at the opposite ends of the county so we spend a fair amount of time having a long distance relationship. However, neither of us impose restrictions on the other. It would make for a very boring life if you never went out and did anything. Especially as you aren't actually seeing him that much: what are you meant to do when you're bored and lonely? Also if you are broken up for good what will you do when you hardly know your friends anymore because you never go out with them? It is ok for him to ask you not to get with another guy (pretty obvious really) but you should be able to go out and have a good time.
Hope this helps. Message me if you have anything to ask. x
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 The only way to prove your love for him is to stay at home and don't go out for any social events or talk to any boy.He is your only sun and your only world. You cease to exist anymore to the outside world.Can you do that? If you want to follow his directives, ask him ,will he also do the same? Can he do that? Then both of you can go and live in a deserted island.That is not love, that is possessive and mental and emotional abuse. You love someone but want to control her/him.This is not true love.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 There's something I don't understand. You mentioned you two broke up. Did you? If you did, then I can't understand him.
If you still think of each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, then I have to say that he is acting this way because he is afraid that you might meet someone else and fall for this new person. But you're right in saying you have a right to a social life. He can't ask you to stay home and see nobody. He needs to trust you.
I don't think this is abuse. But I'm sure he is wrong. He wants to act like he owns you.
I think you don't need to "prove" you love him. If you just act like a committed girl does, he will see it. If he doesn't, well, that's his problem. By the way, I don't think that your wanting to go out means you don't love him.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, mikeyspikey1976 +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Darling,
if you ask me, he sounds like a complete control freak who doens't want you out having fun.
You keep saying "What can I do to let him know I love him", "What Can I do" what about him, it's a two way street, if he truly loved you, he wouldn't put you in this predicament. So take a step back hon, trust me, from one who's been there several times, waiting around for someone just makes you older, by the second.
Tell him you love and care for him, however you still need to enjoy yourself. If he can't handle it, then you know what, move on honey....Life is too short. Enjoy yourself...
chin up, and best wishes
Mike
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