A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:help, i have been with my fiance almost 6 years now things have been slowly going down hill since we bought a house together 2 years ago, only have sex once every 4 months there is no passion anymore she cant even have a good kiss,we argue alot and i am sick of it if i am honest, i have tried to tell her and talk about it and sort things out but i just always seems to be blamed back onto me, thing is i cant do anymore i work 70+ hours week in week out all the time as it is, she only works thirty she gets in and seems to do some bits around the house but then i get home about 8pm and am expected to do everything else, i am sick of feeling bad about myself and sck of feel like i am doing wrong,2 months ago i had a day off work and i got chatting to this women off of there and we really hit it off we ave met for coffee a few times and met for a drink and since we have been sleeping together every chance we get in hotels or were ever, we get on so well she makes me feel alive something in which i have not felt for a very long time, when i see her i am confident and i make her laugh and we text each other all day long speak for 2-3 hours a day on the phone everyday, thing is i dont want to be cheating anymore but my partner does not bring me to life like my lady friend does we get on so well and the way she looks at me i know she is interested in wat i have to say and i feel wanted again and i want her but just scared of wat to do or wat my next steps are etc etc please help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): You have to make a choice. But first you have to see if in the long if run you would be better off with your fiance. You have to tell her how its not working for you and see how she responds. Give her a fair chance, it could get ugly, let her vent. You vent too. Let the dust settle. You may not be meeting her emotional needs, she's not meeting yours for her reasons. Find out whats going on with that. You could be your own worst enemy. Stop seeing your lover when your making a real attempt to salvage your relationship. You should also be aware that this woman would probably cheat on you someday too. Those relationships usually fall apart quickly after setting up house together. 6 years into my marriage we had kids. I started to really dislike my wife. Because of the kids, I hung in there. We had serious problems. Now 15 years later, I couldn't imagine my life without her. I never want to lose her. There are stages in relationships and changing needs. You have to be willing to give and take and that goes for any long term relationship. Its not all glory and if you think your lover is any different, your wrong. You need to see what the short comings are about with your fiance and take it from there.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (1 March 2008):
 I think you know what the next step is but you don't want to admit it to your self. If you don't want to cheat then there are only two options; end your affair or end your current relationship. Sometimes things just weren't meant to be and that seems to be the case with your current relationship.
Of course the descision is ultimately yours but it seems to me that you have made up your mind by how you talk about your current relationship vis a vie your affair. However, something must have made you stay with your fiance so long and even plan marriage. If you can rediscover that then maybe your relationship is worth saving. Whichever you choose, good luck.
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