A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my bf and I had been together for quite some time. First, we were long distance, then I moved in with him about 2 years ago. When I first moved in I didn't have any friends or family. I still don't have any family here, but I manage to find friends from work. But there is a problem, my bf does not like me to hang out with them because my girlfriend is single and my two other friends are gay. He says that they are trying to hook up with other people; but that is not what we do when we go out, we just talk, mostly about work anyways, and nothing else. He says that I am acting like a single girl, going out and getting drunk. But that is not true; besides he is working what am i suppose to do stay home and do nothing. He wants me to go to work with him, and just accompany him; seriously, what the heck am I going to do there? I am bored and lonely, and the moment I find someone to hang out with while he is at work, he is upset and angry. I don't know what to tell him. I am not doing anything wrong. I feel like he is judging me all the time. Yes, I have a lot of gay friends; I don't know why but I do. I like to have gay friends, they are funny and nonjudgmental. Also, at gay bars nobody tries to hook up with me.I don't want to be with a controlling freak who finds friends for me at his convenience and never accept mine own friends. I don't want to be with him anymore, how do I get out, I don't know how. We've been together for almost 10 years, I am 33 years old with no kids, how do I start again... this is madness... Should I fix it or break it off...???.. Help
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (24 July 2011):
 he really doesn't trust you does he? he does not have the confidence to believe that he is enough for you and when you spend time with other friends in situations that could lead you hook up with other guys, this just intensifies his fears. he is not likely to ever change. you have been with him for ten years now (and never cheated?)and he has still not got the message that you love him enough?
he wants you isolated. not good. what is stopping you from leaving? money? somewhere to live? you CAN sort this. maybe move in with family or friends until you get yourself sorted. the last thing you want to do is hang around and find you accidentally get pregnant, which will make it even harder to break up and leave him
x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): Break it off is my first suggestion. You're ONLY 33. Still young and better to do it now than at age 63.
Failing that stop trying to convince him and start training him to accept that this is how it's going to be. You don't need his approval to have friends so stop talking about it and just do it. He can sulk as long as he likes, but he'll get over it eventually, especially when he sees it won't do him any good (and that you can give the silent treatment as well as receive it).
As long as you care about what he thinks, he'll keep telling you.
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