A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey people. I just got something that's kind of bothering me so I figured that I would post it on here. I just found out something and I am not entirely sure how to react. I have known my girlfriend for two years and I can honestly say that I have loved her since the very first second that I saw her. She was one of those girls that you look at and instantly think that she's way out of your league. But anyway that's besides the point. I am 15 and she is 14. Last night she told me that last year (during a time that I was grounded for 3 months for trying to run away with her) she was raped by a 28yo guy. She thought that I already knew which is why she didn't tell me before. She said that they already went to court and he got 8 months and went to jail in august. She didn't really want to talk about it so she wouldn't tell me who it was. Among all of the emotions I felt upon hearing this, one of the strongest was anger. I love this girl and most days it honestly feels like I am married to her. I don't think 8 years is enough to pay for what he did to my girl. He won't get out until April so I've got a long time to think this over but I am not sure where to go with this. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you,~SFL Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): Hi its only natural you will feel shocked and upset knowing what happened to your girlfriend. And finding out that hes only going to be in prison for 8 months must make you feel very angry. Here in the UK our system is little better. I know someone who was abused over 4 years by his stepfather when he was little and his stepfather went on to abuse 2 more children in his family. When it went to court the man was let off for insufficient evidence and that made me, my friend and his relatives feel very very angry. So what do you do with that anger?
There isnt much you can do. It might make you feel better if you found the guy and tried to hurt him. But how would that affect your girlfriend? If you ended up in trouble and were sent away for instance. Whos there to look after her? Who will help her get over the terrible thing that happened to her? I know its really hard to accept things and try and move on but thats what you have to try and do for her sake. If she knows youre very angry and might do something it will only worry her and it should be all about her at the moment, not you my dear. So make her feel secure, safe again and happy.
The person who did that to her will get his just deserts one day. His punishment is his crime. He will live with shame for the rest of his life. No decent employer will have him. No decent woman will want him. No decent men will call him friend. So leave him to rot in his desperately sad life and dont let him live in your heads. All the best to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): If you really mean 8 months, no way is that justice for such an unspeakable crime.
If you follow your instincts and take him somewhere private, like the woods, and tie him to a tree and cut off his man-bits with a rusty, blunt hacksaw, you could get caught and end up with a longer stretch inside than he had!
So, unless you can afford to pay someone to do it for you, maybe just getting the maximum publicity for his misdeed will have to do?
He will already be on that register, but a small display ad. in the local paper should embarrass him and warn all the other girls?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 It is very common to feel anger and even betrayed when the courts bring down a sentence that we feel doesnt fit the crime.
8 months does seem a short sentence, but without having access to a legal mind and the court transcripts we are not able to work out why this is, compared to many western countries the US can often be considered fairly harsh with it's sentencing laws.
I have to admit I am unsure what sort of advice you are asking for, you have no legal standing and so are not able to launch an appeal or similar. You are not her legal guardian and it also seems that because your girlfriend isnt willing to talk about it, you are planning some sort of action without being in full command of all the facts.
I think the best thing to do is to try and put it behind you, and let your girl move on with her life, as she best sees fit.
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