A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with a man (who is separated) for 2 years now. It is an official separation, I know his wife and son, family and we all get along very well. My man and I have had an incredible relationship filled with chemistry, great sex, communication, etc, but for the last 3 weeks we have done nothing but argue. Now I am not the easiest person, I am high maintenance, some might call it need, I am extremely jealous and possessive, if he so much as look at another woman I get upset.Despite this we;ve had a wonderful time together. he is also very difficult and so we have learned to live with each other, however, about 3 weeks ago he started acting distant, unaffectionate, and just very strange, and yet the same. Of course being the type that I am (I also have trust issues but this is from previous relationships), the first thing I think is that he's having an affair. But unless they are super quickies this wouldn't be possible as we are together literally 24 hours a day. He insist that he doesn't need space, and he wouldn't let me out of his sight for a moment, becuase he says he likes to be with me. When I mentioned this recent strange behaviour to him he jumped down my throat saying it was my imagination. We recently bought a house which was a difficult procedure as we are from different countries and of course he's still married so his wife's signature was needed for some documents.so this caused lots of stress for us.I am an attractive 32 year old, he's 60 but I feel so insecure. He seems also to look at other woman more now, kind of in a more "focused" way, some of them way less attractive than me and I still feel threatened! He use to find me insatiable,am I blowing it out of proportion? Is he going through that phase that men sometimes go through, where they feel trapped?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, desperate_angel  +, writes (10 August 2008):
 Hi again, ohh girl its really funny and coincidence that were almost in the same situation. Like me it happens also when the day comes that im slowly noticing that somethings going on or somehings changed to him. like for example, he's not that romantic like before, short tempered etc. Sometimes it's hard to understand man. Now im starting to move on and trying to forget the things. I know and i understand you really love him, but hey girl wake up your too young and have a lot of chances to meet somebody much better than him (without excess baggage!). If you finally come up to a better decision for yourself make sure that it was really what you want and not for the benefit of your man only. Be strong and smart. We girls sometimes always follows our heart over mind, that was sometimes the main reason why we are in danger. Listen to your instincts girl. Ask this to your self. Is this really the man i wanna spend my lifetime together?then if this happens i wanna spend my lifetime also accepting he still communicating with his family (it hurts). Thats the way it is girl. So while your still young dont close your door to some aquintances or meeting somebody else. you have all the right to do this your single available young and pretty. There are a lot of single guys outthere who's also looking for a single lady. I also put that into my mind girl. Im now in the process to which i slowly accept the fact that i have to go of him. his family needs him. His wife needs him and would not need to know whats happening between us (which im suppose to tell her)but i dont want to ruin his marriage. I just ask god for forgiveness and let this man continue to be a good husband and father. God gave us wisdom to understand ourself and others. Talk to god he will give you an honest answer. Be strong and firm to your decision.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi D.Angel. Thanks for talking time to respond. Just want to shed some more light on this issue of mine. With regards to the wife, there is not a snowballs chance in hell that they will reconcile. That is one thing I'm 100% cetain of. That is not the reason why I'm insecure. I don't want to say much, but I will say that my man is in a powerful position regarding his work. Woman would sleep with him just becuase of what he does. I guess my insecurity lies there, and in my mind, with his recent distant behaviour, I have a tendency to make a link. But as I said before we are together literally all the time.He claims he doesn't need space so I don't know. For example, last night we were sitting on the sofa and he asked why it's so important that he must hold my hand? we've been holiding hands whilst watching tv since we started dating. Now suddendly it seems like weird for him or something.I guess deep down I hate the fact that the initial sparks, fuzzy stuff and all that in the beginning of the relationship,is gone. However I am determined to keep the romance going, it just seems so one-sided. One good thing is that our sex life is still the same, like in the beginning so that doesn't bother me.i guess he's just stressed out, I hope. Tell me more bout your situation.
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A
female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (9 August 2008):
Hi there, we are mostly on the same situation and funny were the same age but the guy involved to me was 13 years senior my age. in your situation it is normal because some girls are really attracted to mature guys, and besides he still not legally separated with his wife so thats another reason why you feel insecure.i believe he do love you but he was still in the process of analyzing things carefully in his mind if he wil realy give up his family or he will choose you. there are phases in our life that we dont know the answers although its really obvious that some things are wrong but in our own opinion we consider it right. if he really loves you then he will build a future with you. be confident with yourself.
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