A
female
age
30-35,
*xshaunaxx
writes:I have just turned 16 and I have come to realize that I am a fairly attractive, confident young lady and I have been getting plenty of attention from the opposite sex. But I have realized a pattern: either I like a guy and he has no idea that I exist, or I think that I like a guy that likes me back but then I realize I dont like him. It seems that I am always falling for the wrong guys and there is nothing I can do about it. Is there something that I am doing wrong? What's going on? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Lots of females have this issue. Some males have it bad too. It's pretty normal.
But it's VERY good that you have seen this pattern now. Because the more you spend time thinking about and going after and getting involved with a certain type of guy, the deeper you are "training" yourself to keep liking that type later on. Whether it's a good or a bad type of guy.
Realize this: Just the fact that you're interested in someone who might seem less interested in you, by itself, is not unhealthy. By itself it just means you may be aiming high in the dating pool and you're eyeing someone who is a challenge.
The problem comes when you start subconsciously thinking that the "challenge" is automatically worthy of the effort in the first place. Sometimes there is no link between a guy being hard to win over and him actually being worth winning. Read that again. Sometimes there is NO LINK. Some guys out there are TOTALLY not out of your league but they will blow you off or treat you badly just because they've gotten away with it all the time in the past. But the truth is that they can't really do better than you if you're gone.
It's like a piece of cheap clothing that becomes highly-sought-after just because a designer jacks the price up high. They will sometimes jack up the price BECAUSE they want it to end up more in style, not because the stylish clothes warranted the high price in the first place.
A
female
reader, softballplaya +, writes (26 April 2008):
 i think its all in a matter of you over thinking things. You put too much thought into a certain guy and it takes the fun out of dating. If you like a guy that dont know you exist then you must change this by making an effort to talk to him=] As for the other part of this with the fact that you like a guy and he likes you then you dont like him..That happened to me too until I gave him a chance. Its was a good choice. You gotta be daring because you never know what may happen. So either make an effort or give him a chance=]
hope i helped you out
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