A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:-When I tell her who I like, she either puts them down or starts flirting/talking with them and when I ask later on what she was doing she says whatever she wants. I'm not the only person she does this to.-I'll say "I'm sexy" and things of that nature (when everyone including her knows I'm kidding) and she'll always say "No one wants you."-This guy told her he liked her but she doesn't like him back. He flirts with me and when she sees this she tries to get his attention. I don't like this guy like that btw.-I can see her looking me up and down from the corner of my eye sometimes.-I like this guy, he knows (he likes me as only a friend), and she knows I like him. Me and the guy flirt and when I told her I'm happy he knows I like him, she said he was using me by flirting with me. That's not true because now I know he's just doing it for fun and so am I.-She's always trying to take me away from the guy I like or situations where me and him would be able to hang outWhat's up w/ her?
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best friend, flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe're talking right now so yeah. Thanks for all your help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Yea I no what you mean hun, just have that chat love XXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt isn't hurtful as much as its just annoying I just ignore it when she says it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Its not a nice friendly joke love I wouldnt say that to anyone let alone a friend, I think you need to sit down and talk about all the things that have got to you and let her know its hurtful sweetheart XXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe sent me a message back and says she was just joking about the nobody wants me thing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): It could be what these aunts said OR it could be that she likes you herself! I'm just putting another option in here. I have no ideal why a freind would try and stop you have a b/f or flirt with someone, next time she tries it. Say, 'what do you fancy me or something?' that should shock her
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): yea hunny maybe talking about it may help love
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou have a good point, she's kind of doing that with guy I kinda like but he knows an we're just friends. Anyways I sent her a message on Myspace saying how I hate the way she's treating me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Sweetheart,
Thats not nice, And if you do meet a boy that you like and he likes you then what may she do to ruin things for you hun, Just be on your guard hunny ok. LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd she dared me to tell the guy I like that I liked him. I did it and he ended up just liking me as a friend but we still flirt now. I think she dared me to tell him so it could backfire on me but it didn't. And anytime me and her were around a guy, she wouldn't be herself anymore. She didn't laugh at the stuff I did, which she normally would laugh at and she'd try to embarrass me in front of them too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Hunny
If she continues as I think she will with whatever you do, Then find yourself friends you can trust as irish said. The people that hurt you are not worth your emotions and it all brings negativity..You can try and carry on being her friend but be prepared to walk away if things do not improve sweetheart TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): I know exactly how you feel.. my best friend of 5 years does/ did exactly the same to me. I wouldn't say she isn't a good friend i would say she is just jealous maybe of you looks, personality etc. Ususally people that put you down are self consious themselves.
The wierdest thing about the friend that did the same thing to me was she'd had a boyfriend for nearly 2 years but couldn't bare to see me happy. But don't feel down about it. I met my current boyfriend through her and it made her so jealous that he didn't like her. She tried to put me off him and still to this day flirts with him. But he ignores her and any guy that truely likes you will not be intrested in you friend. It isn't about looks either because many people have told me i'm more attractive than my friend. But i've learnt that in order to be an attractive person you have to be nice on the inside. And most decent guys will stay away from some1 who deliberately tries to make other people unhappy.
I wouldn't say get another best friend i would just say hold you head up high and be yourself and maybe give her a taste of her own medicine. Because when the right guy comes along he wont be interested in her because he will only have eyes for you. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't let what she says let me down, ever. I just ignore it. It's going to be hard to let her go though. Could I try just not letting her know guy problems anymore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Mandy is right, your best friend has a problem. She is competitive and jealous and can't be trusted. Don't allow her bad, uncaring behaviors, to erode your sense of self-confidence and don't allow angry feelings to eat away at your own goodness. So really, do you feel she is your 'best' friend?? No, this friend is not a friend and friends don't do this to friends. She is a liability in your life, so get rid of her. There are plenty of good people out there, that would never dream about doing this to you. You just have to be smart, selective and use your head when choosing the right people for your life.
After you and her part ways, get on with your life and make it the happiest you can. Make new friends and start associating with more trusting people, who share your friendship values. Just don't get into calling this old friend down. Don't be angry and nasty by gossiping about her with your new friends. You will be tempted to vent--don't so that. Your other friends will not want you to be their friend if they discover that you talk about people behind their backs. And another thing to try hard not to do. Avoid spending and wasting your emotions energies /time thinking of your former friend's very poor behaviors. This is 'her' problem to fix. These people who hurt you are not worth the emotional workout...plain and simple..
So hang out with other people you care about, even make new friends and appreciate the other wonderful aspects of your life. Spend more time with people you like a lot and trust. But if you can be strong and carry on, with graciousness and class....life will feel normal once again. It just takes time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Hi Hunny
She is a little insecure and jealous of you, I had just the same with a friend of mine when I was 16 and this carried on untill we were in our 30s. She constantly put me down laughed if someone said I was pretty told me she couldnt understand what people saw in me and really tried her best to make me feel bad, It was her own insecurity not mine, She was a very pretty girl but bitchy, It came to ahead as to me she was my best friend but she was getting older so therefor I thought wiser but no hunny she was nasty, So I walked away in the end after a 20yr friendship as she didnt change. I do hope this doesnt get to you love as whatever your friend says or does is only to proove something to herself hunny she really wont get anything out of it at all as deep down she is unhappy, So you make sure that you always keep your self esteem love as this is a problem she has got not you...And dont let her walk all over you a true friend would not treat you this way..YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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