A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 18 years, I am 41 and he is 42. A rebound relationship I probably should have never committed to but did. He is a good person and a hard worker. We have 2 children 15,17. I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life feeling alone. I have told him I need more emotionally from him and to feel like I matter he says he'll try but that isn't him. He does try for awhile but I still feel empty towards him there really are no feelings. I am afraid to leave because of the obvious financial and family issues but also because both a good friend and my father commited suicide over women. I could see my husband doing this because he does have a depressive personalality.Counseling isn't going to happen no matter what you try and tell him you are feeling or is wrong it all comes back too, he is a hard worker what more do I want.I want to not feel empty! Do I hold out for another 3-4 years at this point for the youngest child? I know the grass isn't greener anywhere else but is this what marriage becomes? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry to hear that anonymous. I hope it is atleast comforting to know your aren't alone so it isn't just you. I know I hear all the time I am the one who has changed( yeah maybe I've outgrown him) or I need a pill.
Some days are really bad and I just want to walk thru that door and not come back. The days when he is trying to be more loving I tense up with a dont bother you dont mean it and its not going to last.
For now I am here trying to figure it out.
Good luck to you too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): I am in the same boat and have 15 more years to get out, I feel trapped too. I will be damed if the kids will have 2 fathers growing up!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Fair comment, you can only revive something if it is capable of being revived. I wish you well.
take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response...as far as revive it what can it be revive when you tell him how you feel and his response if this is how I am I can't change....
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): You certainly shouldnt feel like that. And stop worrying about him becoming depressed and killing himself, that is not your worry. You will feel empty in a marriage like this and this certainly isnt what marriage is all about. Dont just stay with him because of the kids because in a few years time they will be up and off and doing their own thing anyway. You deserve a life of fun and happiness not this cr*p! I think, and this is only my view, that you would probably benefit from some time on your own. But only if you cannot revive your marriage at all. Is there nothing that you can do to make work better?
take care
xx
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