A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don’t know how many people find themselves in my situation. My situation started with being a babysitter for a 5 year old boy. I was 16 at the time when I started babysitting him. I continued babysitting him until he entered Jr. high School. He was a nice boy who was not difficult. I had an easy time coming up with board games and other fun activities for him. To be honest I have a fun time babysitting him. Then starting in jr. high school his very busy career minded parents asked me to be his tutor and help him with homework. He was pleasant to work with and hard working. This tutoring continued through his high school years. Given the amount of time I had spent with him I loved and cared for him. During his high school years he would also ask more about advice regarding his friends, girls, and his love life. He also seemed to care about me. He would make a point to ask about me and how I was doing. His hard work through high school paid off as he entered college. In college when I was neither his babysitter nor tutor he started inviting me to do fun activities. We would play sports together, go on hikes, walk in the park, see movies together, and sometimes grab a dinner together. I though he was just being nice and trying to include me as a friend in his life. The nice boy had become a man and I enjoyed the time we spent together. Lately I am getting the idea that there may be more and that he wants more. Now he is 20 and I am 31. Not to long ago he said that he found me attractive and loved me more than just a friend. He has also expressed a desire to express his love for me in a more physical and intimate matter. I have not responded to this statement but rather changed the subject. We have talked about the subject of sex however not to the extent of mentioning each other as possible partners. I am sure that these topics will come up again. Perhaps this is a conversation that we need to have. We many also need to talk about the future of our relationship (i.e. are we going to remain friends, not see each other, consider marriage) . What do you think? I do love him and care about him. I want for him a bright future. If in the future we do have sexual relations what are some things we should talk about and take into account? If we have a mutual caring relationship and a true love for one another would there be harm in becoming one flesh? If we are going to express our love for each other in a more physical way what should be the time line? Should it be done soon or should we set a purposed timeline of a month to a year down the line and continue to evaluate it? What do you think? I appreciate you taking time to give me some advice. Truly,K. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 Where did you get this idea from? Mary Poppins was never like this! (.....was there a Mary Poppins 2 that I missed?)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): is that the guy who left a message above yours :S
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): You said that you do love and care for this young man, as he does for you. It sounds like there is a strong emotional bond between the two of you. But I think a key question is, do you find him sexually attractive? Could you see yourself having sex with him and enjoying it? Or a better question is, do you WANT to have sex with him?
You are both adults and free to make your own decisions and not care what anyone else things. I was once sexually involved with a woman who was 42 when I was 33, and believe me, I enjoyed every minute of it, as she did too. We only stopped dating because she moved away to be closer to her family.
There are quite a few women who are married to men 10 years younger than they are, and there is nothing wrong with it, if that is what they both want. I think the only thing you should take account is whether the love you have for each other is genuine and strong enough, and if you have enough common interests, likes, and dislikes to be compatible in a long-term or permanent relationship.
Bottom line is: go what you feel is right for you. If you feel you could have a very strong, loving, long-term relationship with this young man and he feels the same way about you, then I say go with your feelings. Follow your heart and it should lead you to the right decision. Please let me know if this reply was helpful. If you have other questions, post back and I will try to answer them.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Hi!
I think this is very beautiful story and i think after so much time he spended with you together, it is naturale that he feel something more about you..
I am sure you are good friends and that you will be always but.. if you decide being with him and when more serious feelings are involved there is a danger to spoil that beautiful friendship..i am saying this because maybe he is too young for serious relationships as merrage is.
Anyway if you are both relax and dont expect too much from each other love beetwen you can be one beautiful memory which you will remember with pleasure when you get older :)
so GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
...............................
|
