A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,I've been married for 13 months. I am a christian catholic wife married to an Islam husband. Before we got married, he assured me that he will not prevent me from my catholic practices, however he asked me to study a little about Muslim faith. I gave birth to our son moths later and as a respect i allowed our son to be baptize as Muslim. After several occasions i noticed that he doesn't want any of my catholic practices such as going to weekly masses. I no longer make the sign of the cross because he asked me to. Aside from that, he became so quick to take offence, he easily gets mad and irritated by me. in short we always had fights,petty but hurting fights involving my faith.just two weeks ago i left him and went to my mother's house.the sad thing abut my running away is that i wasn't able to bring with me my son.he insisted that i have to leave the house if i cannot come up with his rules and i have to leave alone because he can not possibly trust his Muslim baptized son to a christian catholic mom.please advise me on what to do with my problem.i love my son and i want to take him with me but I am afraid that my husband will lose his control and perhaps do something beyond his control. please help me.thank you and more power
View related questions:
christian, muslim Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt helps to share your problem. I did it and I am feeling better now. Thank you so much for the advices. I have to be honest with you guys; I am taking one step at a time. I have not done anything to take my son back. I suffered so many sleepless nights bearing the pain and yet I haven’t done anything as I’ve said. There’s this one thing, I have been praying a lot lately. I haven’t done this for almost 2 years and I am somewhat comforted. I’ve spoken to a Nun in a near parish about my problem and she told me about letting go and, trusting God. Well it’s easier said than done, but that’s the most convenient thing to do at the moment, or maybe I am afraid of confrontation with my temperamental husband.
I am still jobless so I still can’t afford to hire a lawyer or press charges against my husband or do something to prove I am worthy of my son’s custody. In short I have risked sleepless nights thinking about my son’s condition. On the contrary, I never thought of reconciling with my husband just because he has my son OR for the “sake” of marriage, I am determined to file for a divorce. In short, I have ended my relationship with him the day I left him. I haven’t seen him for almost three weeks now. What I don’t understand is the feeling of 'fullness' despite the fact that I don’t have my son with me for three weeks now. Am I so mean? Of course I’ve been crying but the subject is always about my son. The bitter feelings i've had towards my husband have lessened; in fact I have forgiven him. I just want him out of my life. We can still be friends but we can’t be husband and wife anymore (I mean living with him under same roof)and oh by the way,we were best friends before we were married.
Lately I’ve imagined being married to someone else in the future.
Again, thank you Smellyyellie, Samii, Lonely Two, cherry cherry boom boom, Old Guy, Ask older sister,malibugirl and lastly Mr.anonymous. I’d love to hear from you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): I'm a muslim so I might be able to shed some light here.
Firstly there are preconditions to marrying a woman from another faith and that is that it has to be agreed before marriage that the children would be raised muslim. I don't know how your marriage went but this is what should have been agreed on the marriage contract beforehand, and they should have made you aware of it if you weren't.
I can also tell you that muslim men who are married to non-muslim women are 'ordered' to 'by our faith' to respect the faith of their spouse and to allow her to practice it 'freely', in which case he is actions and behaviour are wrong even in our books. Although the husband is a degree above the wife (not 'women' in general but 'wife' - people in the west misinterpret this as Islam saying men are superior to women which is not true) he's also supposed to live "on a footing of equity" with his spouse as mentioned in the Qur'an by God.
Islam allows divorce, but because it is disliked there's a process by which there's a mediation period and all options of reconcilliations are exhausted before the divorce gets finalised. So I hope you try and work things out, it'll be good if you also seek advice from a muslim holy man on his obligations towards you.
...............................
A
female
reader, malibugirl  +, writes (15 June 2009):
What about some kind of mediation with your husband.. maybe couples counselling might help to express some of the things that you are feeling and finding difficult to say in front of him. You have obligations to your child to make sure he is growing up in a healthy, happy and safe environment and your husband should be made aware of this. I'm sure he wants the best for his family, if so, that means a compromise between your happiness and his.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): I think it's difficult for foreigners to give you good advice in this, without knowing the conditions in your part of the country. I would imagine that if you were in Manila you could expect a fair hearing from a judge. But if you're in one of the areas that's majority Muslim, things might go badly for you. Only you can evaluate whether your safety will be put in jeopardy by trying to reclaim your son.
I would think that, if you were awarded custody, you would have to move far away. This guy doesn't sound like someone who would let something as flimsy as a court order stand between him and what he wants.
Whatever you do, be very careful.
...............................
A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom  +, writes (15 June 2009):
This similar thing happend to my mother just take your son if he does anything out of control just call the police they will take care of it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Smellyellie  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Just take your son this is the only you are going to get what you want...
If he starts getting funny then you should take him too court and get everything sorted out legally and judjes always favourtise mothers over fathers it's worth a try...
He shouldn't be using you religion against you at all and if he his going to be that way then it's probably best that you leave him... Good luck x
...............................
|
