A
female
age
30-35,
*assnadrajones
writes:Im a virgin moving in with my fiancée, is that a good idea?We have been been dating for 2 years, and have been engaged for 4 months. Our wedding is in a month. We have recently bought a house (it has three bedrooms). My fiancee wants us to move in the house, so we don't both have to continue paying rent on our separate apartments. I am a virgin and I would like to stay one until our wedding night, he understands that and says we can sleep in separate rooms until then. But I'm worried that with us being around each other all the time, we might not be able to resist temptation and have sex before our wedding. I love him but I know I will resent our future sex lives if I do sleep with him before. Should I move in and if so are there maybe any rules I should tell him before I do so?Thank you so much.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): why doesn't he just move into house now and you into the house in a month so you'll both be happy? no rent for him, or sex :)
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Well, there is some evidence that living together prior to marriage increases the chances of divorce - but then, the studies I've seen on it all assumed the couple were having sex, so I don't know if that applies to you. And being a virgin or near-virgin vastly improves the odds of not divorcing, so that already helps a lot.Temptation will be there, but I'm sure you've faced it before. It's just a matter of deciding if your limit is within the expected levels of temptation for the next month. You can last 30 days, right? Just don't get drunk, don't go into each others' rooms at all, and put clothes on before you wander aroudn the house. If that sounds too tough, pay one more month of rent and call it an investment in the marriage.I'm concerned about your statement, "...but I know I will resent our future sex lives if I do sleep with him before." I think the point of marriage (at least regarding sex; obviously there are other points) is sexual fidelity. If you're always faithful to each other, and keep your vows, it's all good. Still, waiting is a good thing, and you should wait - but don't think it's the end of the world if you and he were to break before then.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): I think you should take the plunge and just move in. You've gone 2 years without giving in to temptation, what's a month more? Granted, you'd be spending alot more time with each other, but I think the guilt of pre-marital sex would deter you from any temptation.Just avoid things that could make you want to have sex, like undressing infront of each other. Good luck with your wedding!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Well you may resent it all your life if you don't try sex first. While it may not be your idea of starting a longterm relationship but if sex is not good some men will not be happy, as well as some women I might add. It is important and you really should know if you are compatible before you sign up for life.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (27 February 2011):
Personally, I'd move in with him. Your wedding is in a month and if you really want to wait it out, I'm sure it'll be no problem.I'm very much an advocate of only having sex with that one person you truly want to be with forever, but waiting for marriage has always boggled me. Personally, I don't see how wearing a white dress and eating some cake suddenly qualifies you for sex with the person you're already in love with anyways. But I realize they are your values and if they really are that important to you, you should do what you can to uphold them. I'm sure you can make it for a month :) Congratulations by the way! Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Well you may resent it all your life if you don't try sex first. While it may not be your idea of starting a longterm relationship but if sex is not good some men will not be happy, as well as some women I might add. It is important and you really should know if you are compatible before you sign up for life.
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