A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just met this girl 4 months ago and things couldn't have been better. We hit everything off perfectly. But I'll get directly to the issue. Eventually I brought up topic of previous sexual history and I asked to be honest. I'm 21 years old, only had one girlfriend before her, never had sex and only kissed my ex and that's it. She is 22 years old. She's had 5 boyfriends but she's only had sex with one back when she was 15 and she did everything from anal to 69, etc. with him.To be honest, it did make me very angry at the moment to hear that and the reason I brought it up is because I refuse to go into a relationship blindly. I'm a direct person and I'd like to know what she's done for honesty's sake. She says that she didn't care about him at all and was just being rebellious. She said it was her first and only time and that it was painful and uncomfortable. She went 7 years never thinking she was ever going to have sex until she met me. We live kind of far from each other but we plan to meet and she really really likes me and wants to have sex with me for the first time out of love.I've since seemingly gotten over her past and realized that there's nothing I can do about it anyway. But what worries me now is that since I'm a virgin I won't be able to please her like the other guy did. She never told me how old he was or how many times they did it and although I really want to know I don't think it'll help. I don't usually doubt myself but I like her so much that I want it to be great for her too. This has me doubting many stupid things I never did such as my penis size compared to his etc. Part of me wants to just forget it and just have fun with her but at the same time I can't help but think that I won't compare because of how vitally important experience and penis size is to women. I know it isn't really a question but I'd really appreciate any and all opinions on my current situation. Thanks.
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her past, my ex, my penis, penis size, sexual past Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 March 2013):
You're WAY over thinking things.
First of all, you shouldn't have asked her about the details of her past if you couldn't handle the answer. You say that you "refuse to go into the relationship blindly." I don't think that makes any sense at all. I mean, now that you know the answer did it change anything for the better? No. It made things worse!
It's one thing to know some general relationship history, that's just getting to know someone. But digging for details is going to get you exactly what you have here. I mean, since you don't want to be "blind", why don't you ask her to have him send a photo of his penis to you so you know everything. See? Some things you just don't need to know.
On to your question: nearly everyone finds themselves in this position at some point. There's people that worry about it and there's people that just go into things trying to be a great lover (which is what she deserves), regardless of each other's past.
Keep in mind that this guy was probably just as inexperienced as you at the beginning.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 March 2013):
 How many times they did it is irrelevant. How old he was is irrelevant. And if he could or could not please her is irrelevant. Stop worrying about those things.
She’s 22 and has not had sex in 7 years IMO she’s practically got her v-card back. (SVC removes her tongue from her cheek)
I have had more partners than I care to admit and I have NEVER compared one to the other or thought about one when with the other…. Not happening. In can’t even recall most prior partners including ex husbands… it’s no longer relevant to me so it’s not an issue.
Just go and have fun and enjoy her and let her enjoy you… together you figure out how YOUR dance works…. Every couple is different and therefore you can make this your own experience together.
You do realize that the size of your penis has NO bearing on how good of a lover you are right?
And that less than 25% of all women orgasm from penetration right?
And that experience is not all it’s cracked up to be…. Sincerity, love, willingness to please the other person… those are the issues you need to worry about not experience or penis size.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (29 March 2013):
 "Part of me wants to just forget it and just have fun with her but at the same time I can't help but think that I won't compare because of how vitally important experience and penis size is to women."
You're not going to get over that by staying a virgin. Your lack of experience is making you insecure and angry. I suggest starting by getting some experience... with her. Just keep your insecurities in check and try to be the best boyfriend you can to her. Do that and you'll do much better than the guy she was with. It's also not about the acts and the positions, the important thing is the intimacy and the connection... so focus on that. You'll do fine.
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