A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 23, and i get very jealous of teenagers and pre teens who are experiencing things that I never got a chance to when I was their age. In middle school/high school, I was very darkskin and ugly, and boys never paid me any mind. I remember one boy saying that I was not a real girl. I never got asked out on any dates, and anytime a boy said something to me was if he wanted to borrow a pen or copy off of my paperI was never included in any of the games that my peers played with each other, like spin the bottle or nothing. I was invisible to boys and I was incredibly depressed. The hurt I felt was so tremendous by the time I turned 17 that I used to tell my mother everyday that I was going to commit suicide. She never believed me and would just say "go and kill yourself" She never tried to get me help. I used to go to bed crying every night because all my peers were dating, and doing things that most teens do. I could not get included in any of these things because boys did not find me that pretty and I was too dark. The pain I felt was too much that I even thought about cutting myself (eventually I ddi 4 years later)Now, that I am older and get a reasonable amount of attention from men I still mourn my adolescence. I get jealous when I hear younger family members as young as 15/16 are starting to date and get attention from boys. Or that they are having sex. I was a late bloomer and I am still haven't experienced a tenth of what I should have when I was younger. In a lot of ways I am naive to men and still find them quite fascinating because I never got to date or do anything like dry humping or being fingered etc etcI feel that my jealousy will prevent me from ever having children. I'll be so jealous of my daughters when they start dating and getting attention from boys that I don't know if I'll be fit to raise them right. If I had a normal adolesence where I experienced things I probably would not feel this way
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depressed, dry sex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, heartless420_1 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Wow, it sounds like we have a lot incommon. Counselling isn't a bad thing it could actually have a very positive impact. I wish you well!!
A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (2 December 2008):
 It sounds as if you are still depressed, or at least emotionally impacted, by your lack of a proper adolescence. Please consider seeking counseling over this...you may have missed out on parts of being young but it's no reason to throw away your future happiness as well, i.e. having children and so on.
That said, I'm not sure it's worth being jealous of sexually active 15-year-olds. The chances they will stay with their current partners are minimal and starting sexual activity at that age puts them at so much risk of unwanted pregnancy and emotional attachments they aren't truly mature enough to form, or deal with the loss of, yet. Many of my female friends express regret for having had sex before they were really ready for it, with people who turned out not to be right for them--this is the other side of those early experiences you covet.
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