A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have no desire for sex, does that mean I’m doomed to live a life alone?I’m a 25 year old guy, still a virgin, and I have never had the desire to have sex. However, even though I am happy to remain celibate because of this, has it doomed my chances of love? I mean to most people sex is a very important part in a relationship. I mean how likely are my chances of finding a woman, who would be ok with a no sex relationship? And before you say it, no I don’t masturbate, or watch porn. When I mean I have no desire for sex, I mean exactly that.
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celibate, no desire, porn, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): I am a 24 year old male and I'm a virgin as well. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and have been a sufferer for over 7 years. Presently, I do not take any medications for it. I have no desire to have sex with women and masturbate very infrequently. Last year, I had my first relationship with a woman for 4 months and she left me without any indication that we were having any problems. I loved her more than anything in the world; however, I am convinced that the problem was that I refused to have sexual intercourse with her. We were sexually intimate with each other, but I refused to do anything more. Sex always seemed so primitive and undignified to me. I have no regrets looking back on that now. I don't believe that true love exists. I believe that love is simply an addiction to a person. I became suicidal once my relationship ended with her. Women notice me all the time from my confidence and attractiveness as well as my success. But, I am convinced that I will spend the rest of my life a virgin and alone and I'm accepting of that. The only things that I have ever accomplished in my life were the result of being alone.
A
female
reader, vectorsils31r  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 A potential emotional block, or a trip to the doctors might not be a bad thing. But at 25 years of age, sounds like an emotional block. Love... When you find love you will want sex, true love I mean. Keep your pants zipped, and wait. When it's time it will happen, the love and the desire. I'm a virgin myself, I tried to have a relationship slowly leading up to the bedroom, but before it got there, I got seriously hurt, about a year ago, something that cost me everything, and almost my what I am building; a career. I can only imagine what it wouldhave done to me if it got to the bedroom. Lucky you to have no desire, my sex drive kicks my rear. Control. Respect for ya dude that ya kept it to yourself, for whatever reason.
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A
female
reader, loostar00 +, writes (10 May 2010):
Im a 23 year old girl, who is actually going through the same situation. I think it is not as easy to find especially a local person that would just be interested in just an emotional affair.
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A
male
reader, nichiren +, writes (11 February 2009):
 you are perfectly normal as an individual.humans come in all ranges and you just happen to be a person who has no sexual desire.and the fact that you are comfortable with it just cements the fact that its part of the unique person that is you.there are plenty of other people out there like you.however with the pressure of society you may have to search and find special dating groups onojne and off with similar people.unless of course you find a woman who is discliplined enough to give up sex because she loves you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): the fact you don't have a desire for sex at all might be a problem masturbation and porn is a way of saying that your mental sexuality is working, as well as physical, unless their are physical problems,like not physically able to get an erection etc. you should not try to get a girlfreind with no sex drive like you ,you should see a doctor about it,because their is such a condition out there that disables ones sex drive.and it might be treatable. As for me im a 24 yr old virgin but mastubate and watch porn. good luck man i hope i helped ya a bit.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 There is an organization run by David Jay for Asexuals, people who do not ever experience sexual desire. BAsically you make up a small percentage of the population. Can you find love? Yes. Emotionally speaking, and ideally with other asexuals. However, if you want to be with someone that is not asexual, then you may have to opt for an open-relationship of some sort, so that her needs can be met as well. If you are unable to sexually function at all, you may need new medical technologies to assist in having your own children.
-FBK
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): how the hell did that other answer get posted? that was so unhelpful!! anyway i agree with the others. it may just be a phase or something and maybe u could go to the doctors, but dont worry about it, there may be a girl out there for u who feels the same, well we know there is seeing as Starburst below said shes there same lol!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): How did the comment below get approved?
Anyway, to Anon 22-25, no you're not doomed. There are people out there that aren't sexual at all and form intimate relationships for more pure emotional and mental reasons. The problem with this however is that your chances of finding someone like that might have slimmed down to quite a lot. However, this also depends on where you live, and what type of women and/or men you are attracted to you.
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A
female
reader, Starburst +, writes (22 April 2007):
 no i dont think it has doomed ur chances of love, im only 20 but im exactly the same. Actually me and my 2 friends were talking the other month and all 3 of us said we'd actually be happy in a relationship with a guy without the sex, just the love and affection like a cuddle or something so dont stress about it, i bet ur not the only guy like it and there are definately girls looking for the same thing and u never know, we may change in the future who knows?! hope this was of some comfort :-) xx
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A
male
reader, Zim +, writes (22 April 2007):
 I would'nt say that this would affect your relationships in the future at all. Whilst some people regard sex as the be all and end all in a relationship, it really isn't. Quite a lot of people prefer to abstain from sex until marriage either through religious or non religious reasons. Obviously, you will have the ethos in some groups where it's expected to have sex in a relationship, but in my experience, a woman respects you a lot more for not wanting sex. It shows that you like her for who she is, not what she looks like and that's very important at the beginning of a relationship. Believe me though, you will begin to have "desires" after going out with someone for a while if not at first.
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her."
I live by this philosophy and its given me some really amazing experiences in my life so far.
I hope that helps.:-)
ZIM
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