A
male
age
30-35,
*ricey18
writes:i like a girl in Mansfield but she love me will it be ok to get engaged to her, they are 13 years and i am 18 years old ?
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female
reader, mercy17  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 your the adult in this relationship, shes the child. literally. you both have your whole lives infront of you. im not sure this is a good idea.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): i am thirteen years old. and that is sick. she isn't old enough to have sex yet! she isn't even old enough to drive, drink, or hell, even stay out later than midnight! would you really do that? would you marry her then get her pregnant? then when your child is thirteen, would you want an 18 year old (adult) to do the same to her?
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 Im late on this but wow, my suggestion talk to the girls parents if they dont have a problem with you being with this girl then go for it but i honestly thnk you two will grow apart in time she will be going to HS surrounded by hundreds of young studs almost everyday all day you and her will have nothing in common you wont even be able to take her to the school dance.Some things arent meant to be life is about the chances you have and the choices you make hers your chance to make the right choice it wont be easy but thats why youre a man so you can handle it
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Celtic tiger and Fatherly Advice have given you brilliant answers. I just wanted to point out that ALL of us answering have been teenagers. We ALL went through puberty and we ALL have some idea about what level of maturity teenagers are capable of.
There are a whole host of problems for the situation you are proposing and I think you should try to remember that this girl is still underage. If you are serious about the love you have for her, you will recognize what is best for her and her future and put that ahead of any other consideration. Just as I hope her parents are doing. They, right now, are responsible for her health and well-being. You may love her, but they have known, loved and cared for her since her birth. They are the ones you should be asking this question.
Take it from this former 13-year-old, she's too young.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (27 August 2009):
 I agree with you Fatherly advice.
Apart from the legal aspects of this there are many other issues you need to consider.
At 13 she is still a child. She has only just hit puberty. Think back - what were you doing when you were 13? Did you even THINK about marriage??
In the UK you cant get married until you are 16, and even then you have to have her parents permission.
The fact that she is also under 16 means she is underage, therefore if you are having a sexual relationship with her, you are actually committing rape. You could be arrested and charged, put on the sex offenders register and your life ruined forever. If you loved her that much then you would wait.
Having taught many 13 year olds, NONE of them are emotionally or physically prepared for marriage, and all the baggage and commitment that goes along with it. They cant look after themselves and still rely on their parents for most things in life. They cant stick to hobbies, liking bands, or even the boys they fancy for more than a few weeks at a time, so they might like to play at the idea of commitment, but in practice most of them would not stick it out.
Even you, poster, at 18. Could you, 100% give yourself for the rest of your life to just one girl. Because that is what marriage is all about. Just her, for the rest of your life. Honestly? Do you plan to go to university? What would you do whilst your mates are out and about, and you are stuck at home being married?
Also, if you did stick it out till she was 16 - what then? Do you move in together? Would she be prepared for all the effort and hard work that is involved in running a house? Shopping, cooking, cleaning, tidying, running after you (because I BET you do not do your own washing/ironing/cleaning/food shopping/cooking). WHo will pay the bills? Rent. Electricity. Water. Gas.
Have you ever lived on your own? Do you know what it is like to be away from your parents?
You have plenty of time to get married. Until you are able to provide a loving and stable environment then you are not offering her any quality of life. Being married is not all about love and roses, it goes far deeper than that. If you really love this girl, then you will wait until she is old enough and has experienced enough of life to make her own decisions.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 August 2009):
 I guess I have a closed mind. I've never met a "mature" 13 year old. I don't believe they exist. I'm still under 50 and I can't stretch my imagination to the point of having an emotionally, or mentally intimate relationship with a 15 year old. That would be hanging out with a girl younger than my daughters. I can't imagine my daughters accepting that she is so much more mature. If I want to take my girls out to a movie no problem. We like some of the same humor, but our views on music, relationships, work, money, even sex, are, well, a generation apart. I refuse to agree that age is only a number. I believe that there are very good and valid reasons for pedophile laws.
FA Keeping my mind closed to that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): You can get engaged at any age, but you'd have to wait until she's at least 16 to get married, and that's with her parents consent. I don't think getting engaged would be ideal now though because she IS still very young. If you're both together and still feel the same way when she's your age then you could propose then.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): abroad, yes you can. in england, no you cant.
and there is nothing wrong with the age gap. age is nothing,and people should realise that.
-there is nothing wrong with loving a teen
-it is her choice as to have sex or not
-just because most teens are immature does not mean she is one too.she may be able to make her own decisions.i know i did at that age.
-he is not a pedo and she isnt 'a baby'.
for info purposes i was with a 50 year old at 15.problem? well no but to all you closed minders out there it is..
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male
reader, theboythatcriedhotgirlfriend +, writes (26 August 2009):
 What do u think? The hell you gon do wit her till death(or child services) do ya'll apart? Dude im 15 and my girl is older than yours THAT SAYS SOMETHING!!!
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male
reader, Tomuchlove +, writes (25 August 2009):
This is just wrong man get a grip she is a child you are going to ruin her life leave her alone its just sick!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): that my friend is against the law!!! and SICK!
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female
reader, jaeSKYE  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 i think she would need to be 18.
but besides that, would you really want to do that to her?
she has the rest of her life to be married
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Sure it's okay as long as this is August 25, 1309.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 August 2009):
I guess the real problem I have with this is that at 13 she is not ready to make that kind of commitment. And can you hold out for 5 year + engagement. My advice is to let her enjoy her high school years.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): No you can't marry legally until you're both sixteen, and even then you need PARENTAL permission.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): We as individuals can do just about anything. Should we is the question.
should you get engaged to a 13 yr old and you being 18?
No... you shouldn't... she is a child and has barely started her cycle in her LONG road to woman hood. You are in love with a child and that screams therapy to me, and screams pedophile to everyone else. Including the court systems, thank god.
leave that baby alone, and date someone your own age! The only reason you could possibly have to be with someone that young is to make your self feel secure and in control. get some help before you hurt an innocent child.
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female
reader, lilly123 +, writes (25 August 2009):
 she is a child no its not ok and i hope to god your are not having sex with her.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2009):
 I hope not. That is just wrong. She is a CHILD. Sorry.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): No
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