A
female
age
26-29,
*AMnotYou
writes:So I'm having a hard time: I'm 16 and all i want is sex. I am so consumed with the world of sex and the sexual community since i had sex for the first time last year. Sex is all i think about. I don't know whats wrong with me. I want sex all of the time but i feel so dirty and i hate myself for it. I already have severe self-esteem issues and this phase I'm going through is not helping. I do not have a boyfriend and for some reason no one likes me. I've tried masturbation and it does not help me at all. I do it to the point where it's whenever I get the chance that not normal for a 16-year-old girl. Every time I get horny I get sad and start to cry because I cant do anything about it and I just shake and cry and I get dizzy. Is there any advice anyone can give me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): ok 1 your at the age where you will be the most horny you are in your life so your not dirty you just growing up. and 2 boys are easy at your age all you need to do is be more aggressive and you'll have a bf in no time trust me. i should ask if your on birth control thought i can kill or add to your sex drive so if you are try stopping it and if your not try adding it
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): Just use protection! I know what you aare going thru, just protect yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): Ah, religion enters the picture, no wonder you're confused.
I won't even bother opening the can of worms about whether traditional Christian attitudes to sexuality have any relevance to modern society, the fact is you do move in religious circles and the conflict between how your church says you should behave ('good') as opposed to the sexual feelings you have ('bad') is what's upsetting you so much.
"all i need to do is repent but im not ready to give in and tell jesus that im a disgraceful litttle bitch"
Please don't ever think of yourself in such a negative way. Sorry but few things in this world make me angrier than the Christian culture of guilt and shame surrounding sexuality. The loudmouths who self-righteously proclaim it evidently don't stop to consider how out of proportion their damnations are, or how serverely they can impact on the recipient's life. Sorry but if having natural urges is so very evil, and if even thinking about sex let alone having it is enough to consign you to hell for all eternity, it's safe to say 99% of the human population isn't going to make it to heaven, including most Christians.
Just glad I live in the UK which is largely a secular country nowadays. Anyway good luck and be kind to yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2011): Do you reach orgasm when you masturbate? If you do, you should feel satisfied for a while. If you don't, try harder.
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A
female
reader, iAMnotYou +, writes (30 June 2011):
iAMnotYou is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey thanks you 2...anonnoymous...i just wanted clear a few things up so i dont look like a complete slut...i am very involved in volunteer work in fact ive decided that is going to be my career...however they do not raise my self esteem they only raise my respect for other and makes me feel awful to think about these people on the streets who have nothing and im having panic attacks over lack of sex...im also very christian which does not help at all...although my church finds the good in sex i belong to a christian club at my school and "all i need to do is repent" but im not ready to give in and tell jesus that im a disgraceful litttle bitch...im just so confused with everything....but idk i'll figure it out someday....also i "have bipolar" which i dont really believe but apparently it highers your sex drive
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2011): I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but if your horniness is taking over your entire life you may benefit with finding other channels for your energy. Try and develop a hobby or interest, give consideration to your studies and future career, or get involved with voluntary/charity work. All of these things will help raise your self-esteem.
Above all, keep your self respect and if you do decide to carry on having sex watch on your 'number'... One day when you find "the one" you will regard a high sex drive as a blessing, and so will the lucky guy! Take care x
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