A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 15 years old and im scared i may be gay because growing up i didn't have a father figure at all because my dad was never around, and i try to make myself a man each day but its hard see i only get aroused to naked men not women and i really don't want to be gay, i no people say its okay be who u are but i cant be gay and thats just it, i really don't understand because when i was little i had many girlfriends but around 11 i started looking at gay porn and liked naked men and still do but i have stopped, i don't know if its the porn that has messed me up or not having a father figure.im sorry but gay is just not in my category i just can't picture myself growing up like that i wanna be a man a real man and see im the only child and i get lonely and when i got older i wanted to have many kids of my own with my wife or sum and i wanted to be a great father and always be by their side and be a better dad than my ownby it this gayness and i hate it i can't be that way AND THATS THAT noo questions asked i wanna be a straight guy. i can't get aroused 2 women but know im trying i have left gay porn and naked men stuff alone because being gay I CAN'T DO IT thinking of being that way just bring me down seeing my friends and cousins with girlfriends and being able to be aroused to them i just wish i could do that,i wanna grow up a normal MAN and not gay, but there are some girls i do like they are the ones with long hair but i don't get aroused to them, i know people say its okay 2 be gay, be yourself and all that i can't do that i don't picture myself being that way, gay people have feelings fo each other i can't have feelings for another man and all that stuff so.... but i get aroused to just them and i mostly get aroused to straight men i hate seeing like really really gay boys especially in person i hope not to be one, i always wanted to grow up have a big house nice cars i wife andabout 4 kids and i know i shouldn't worry about that stuff not but its just i can't be gay i can't im sorry, i've started 2 explore girls and get to no them as more than being friend and maybe try to have a girlfriend but girls think im kinda nerdy and goofy but may be i'll find the right girl but my life is so boring and dull and hard because of this gay stuff and someone said on this website not to beat myself up about but its just that i don't wanna be gay at all i'd rather just die....i wanna be a men like my new friends, i used to hang out with girls at school but know i have a bunch of good guy friends i can hang out with and their not gay i juss wanna be a man, i don't wanna be gay i'd rather just die than that.....
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male
reader, bobby472  +, writes (27 June 2009):
You dont need to fear being gay. I myself went through the same situation. I hated it, I wanted to grow up and have a family too. Being gay does not mean you cannot have children (well depending on where you life, for now. Equality is coming to the states) Growing up I always questioned my sexuality, because I only knew of gay guys been really girly. Well I was wrong. I do not have any of the stereotypical gay traits. When I came out to friends, none of them believed me. They too also thought all gay guys were girly. Because of the medias portray of the gay man. But im just a regular guy, who happens to be gay. Being gay does not define you, it only tells a small part of who you are. You are young and dont fully understand whats going on. The best thing for you to do is to accept it. I never did, and still to this day suffer from depression, angziety attacks, and suicidal tendencies. I would never wish this apon anyone. I chose the roughest road to travel, and regret it every day. You cant help who you are atracted to. It is beyond anyones control. Its natural, and nothing to fear. One thing that may help, is to talk with people who are out of the closet. Or phone a help line. The more knowledge you have the better. I wish I had access to the internet growing up. I only had myself, I feared coming out. When I finaly did (by a suicide attempt unfortunetly) I found out the my whole family is totaly fine with it. If only I knew that when I was younger, my life would of been alot different. Please do not see homosexuality as a bad thing. It is perfectly natural, it is seen in every species on the planet. It just another form of love. Just take your time, dont do anything that may have negetive affects later on in life.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Not having your father around and whether you want to be gay or not are both irrelevant facts.You can't help you are attracted to and if it is men and not women then you should work towards accepting that and not fight against it. If you are gay then that is just the way it is.Getting arroused by men and not women means you probably are gay. Take your time and get used to the idea. Going out and pretending to be straight and trying to start a family will only end up hurting you and the other person.You obviously already know you're probably gay. You're only young so take your time and get used to the idea. Best place to start is to just accept that you're gay. It doesn't mean you have to do anything or be any different. Work from there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): well, im straight and now 22, but i think i "loved" on of my friends back in junior high, not sexually, but like love...i never liked looking at other dudes and am in the Navy and have seen my fair share of naked dudes. ANYWAYS, you like gay porn and dont get aroused by women. what can you do? and shame on you for thinking that a man has to be straight to be a REAL man, thats just silly bro.
the final choice is up to you what you do with your life but harboring what your feeling now in the long run can bring potential issues in your future. Black and white thinking regarding this is not healthy.
if you really want to like women, try getting a girlfriend soon, experiment more to find out what you actually want, not what you should want. and as far as being goofy....girls have the same insecurities guys do. fix whatever you think is wrong with you immediately
peace, and best of luck during the rough seas of the awkwardness of growing up
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