A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm 13 and have a boyfriend who wants to finger me and have sex I've tried and it hurts should I be concerned that I will hate the first time?like will it really hurt? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2022): It sounds like you are too young to have sex.
Don't have sex until you are totally comfortable with the idea.
Also, it may be illegal to have sex where you are at your age.
If he insists on having sex, then dump him. There are many more boys out there!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2022): You're too young to have sex. In fact you are still a minor.
If your boyfriend is 18 years or over he could go to prison for trying to have sex with you because it is against the law.
You don't need a boyfriend at your age and you should tell him it's illegal.
No matter what she he is you should not be trying sex.
You have to be at least 16.
Child protective services could help you if you are being pressured to have sex by anyone.
It just takes one phone call to them or any other helping agency, even the police.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2022): I mean to say:
"Sweetheart, the trouble with girls your age having boyfriends, is that the boys might do terrible things [to] her, and know she can't (or won't) tell."
Let me tell you this. When your mother takes you to see the doctor (gynecologist), the doctor will tell your parents if you have been sexually active.
That is for your own protection. So, if you are letting boys do sexual things to you that hurt, before you're old enough, or ready; your parents will find-out what's going-on, and that is when they might be very upset with you. Even if they are cool parents, and let you have boyfriends at 13! If you don't tell, sometimes the doctor will think your father is sexually-abusing you according to any unusual bruises or scratches in your vaginal area. Boys putting their dirty fingers in you can also give you vaginal infections.
Please protect yourself, or he will go too far too soon! If you are scared, then you have to stop seeing the boy; because he will keep pressuring you, even if you don't want to. If he forces you to, that is a very bad and serious thing. I mean very very serious!!!
I'm not trying to scare you, but you need a grown-up to look-out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2022): You're too young for your boyfriend to be doing anything sexual to you. If it hurts, you aren't ready to do it.
You have to learn when to tell boys to stop. I hope this boy isn't way older than you! If he is, I hope somebody finds-out what you two are doing!!!
You want a boyfriend, and you obviously aren't being properly monitored and advised by your parents. If they were doing their job, you probably wouldn't be dating at 13; and being pressured by some boy to let him poke his fingers up you. You're going to let him do it, because you're afraid he will stop being your boyfriend; which is precisely why you're too young to make these kinds of decisions without parental-guidance.
I'm not going to tell you to stop seeing your boyfriend; because I know you won't. I WILL tell you to tell him to STOP!!! If he won't, slap his hand-away and leave! DO NOT JUST SIT THERE and allow any boy to have his way with you!
Do you want to know why? Because he will be your boyfriend today, see another girl; and he will be her boyfriend next week! Trying the very same things on her. Only, there will not be many 13 year-old girls around for him to have his way with! That's because their parents will not let them date until they are old enough!
Be smart, and learn now! Practice how to be a strong-woman who will stand-up for herself with guys. If you are seeing this boy behind your parents' back; this is why they didn't want you to have a boyfriend until you are older!!! Now you're in a situation, and he won't stop with his fingers. I almost know he's older than you, even if you won't admit it. He knows you're not old enough to know what you're doing or how to handle situations like these.
If he gets out of control and forces you to do something you have asked him not to do; then you have to tell your parents, sweetheart! You don't just ask boys to respect you, you insist that they respect you!
Sweetheart, the trouble with girls your age having boyfriends, is that the boys might do terrible things her, and know she can't (or won't) tell. She will be ashamed, or might get into trouble. Mainly, because most of the time, girls your age are seeing boys after their parents have forbid them to...or they have no idea you are seeing some boy behind their backs.
If he won't stop when you ask him to, you have to get-up and leave right then and there! He's going to sweettalk you, and tell you he loves you. That is just to get you to do what he wants you to do. I hope you will listen to our advice.
I really hope other readers, uncles, and aunts will answer your post. The more the better!!!
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A
female
reader, Claire Byrne  +, writes (19 April 2022):
 If you don't want to have sex, tell him firmly, if your pressures your into something that you don't want to do and doesn't stop, tell him stop, and tell your parents. They can talk to his parents, or the police. If he does anything inappropriate, tell your parents.
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