A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 13 years old and im dating a boy who says he wants me marrie me :) and we have only been going out for 3 months. and we both love each other very much and we have been doing sex practices. not real sex but with our clothes on and it feels so good when our parts touch :). i feel safe when im around him. i wanna have sex but i dont wanna get preg. at this age. what should i do?????????? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): Dont he may dump u cause ur "u know what" isnt big enough for his "u know what" and it can be very painful trust me, im ur age and i had it before and yes it felt good but when he went to put his "thing" in me it hurt like heck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): DONT DO IT GIRL, YOU ARE TO YOUNG, IT WILL RUINE YOUR LIFE BELIEVE ME CAUSE I WAS THE GIRL WHO DID IT AND IT WILL RUINE YOUR LIFEEE
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): Heya im Ella I am 13 and my boyfriends 19. i want to have sex with him aswell but its not right uve only just entered teenage years like and its not legal till ure 16. he may only be using you for one thing and lieing to you,i am not saying he is but he could be if you are gonna have sex i would be extremely careful but if u do good luck xo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): How To Have Safe SexHaving unprotected sex puts you at risk of sexually transmitted infections. You should always practice safe sex by using a condom every time you have sex. This film will show you how to have safe sex.Step 1: Communicate It's important to talk to your partner about your expectations when it comes to sex. Being open about your likes and dislikes, and what you expect from your partner, will improve the experience of sex. If you decide to stop using condoms, you need to be in a truly monogamous relationship to avoid catching infections.Step 2: Use a condom A condom is the only form of protection that helps to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections. You can get both male and female condoms, and you should use a condom every time you have sex.Step 3: Limit your sexual partners The more sexual partners you have, the higher the risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection. The safest sex is between two people in an exclusive, monogamous relationship. Even in a monogamous relationship it is recommended to continue using protection until you have both been screened for infections and have established that you are both completely faithful.Step 4: Stay sober Alcohol and drugs lower your inhibitions, and you'll be less likely to practice safe sex while under the influence. If you're going out and think you might have sex, but you're not sure that you will remember to use a condom when you're drunk, don't drink; you'll be safer and more in control.Step 5: Oral Sex Oral sex carries less risk of infection than vaginal or anal sex, but it is still wise to exercise caution as STIs can still be transmitted this way. If you're giving your partner oral sex, then they should wear a condom or a dental dam to reduce the risk of infection.Step 6: Anal Sex You should always use a condom during anal sex. It's best to use an extra strong condom, and make sure you use plenty of lubrication - adding more mid-way through if necessary. Never switch from anal to vaginal sex without changing the condom first.Step 7: Using sex toys If you're on your own and using unshared sex toys, there is very little risk of infection. Always remember to wash sex toys after use as poor hygiene can pose a health threat. If you're using sex toys with a new partner, you should use similar protection as you would during regular sex. Use a condom on dildos and vibrators, and put a new one on for each partner.--------------------------------------------------Haveing Sex For The First TimeThere can be lot of pressure to lose your virginity - that is, to have sexual intercourse for the first time. Having sex with someone just because you want to lose your virginity, or because you think all your friends are doing it, is something you may regret later.You might feel lots of anxieties, especially the first time you 'go all the way' - have sex. You may feel embarrassed about how you look without your clothes on, or worried about your privacy being disturbed. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication will really help to prevent you feeling embarrassed or worried. You should be able to talk to your partner about how you feel about having sex for the first time, and about any concerns you may have. Your partner might be worried, too. Being relaxed and able to share things with your partner will really ease the tension. And if you're too shy, or you're not able to talk about these things with your partner - then you probably shouldn't be having sex!Having sexual intercourse - when a boy's hard penis goes inside a girl's vagina, or even just touches the outside of her vagina - is what leads to pregnancy. So, before having sexual intercourse you should think about whether you need to use contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancy, and condoms to prevent Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).Can a girl become pregnant the first time she has sexual intercourse?Yes, a girl can become pregnant the first time she has sexual intercourse. So, you must use contraception the first time you have sexual intercourse, if you don't want to risk becoming a parent.What about the law?The age of consent, that is the age at which it is legal to have sex, depends on which country you are in, and in the United States the law is different in different states (see our teens, sex and the law page for further details).In England and Wales, the law says it's illegal for a boy or a girl to have sex with a girl or a boy who is under sixteen.Sex and loveFor some people sexual feelings are bound up with love and close relationships. Some people think sex should only happen within marriage. For some people sex and love are two different things.What is important is that you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Being safe means not only thinking about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). But also emotional risk such as the regret you may feel afterwards.When are you ready for sex?There is no absolute right age to start having sex. What matters is whether it is the right time for you. It also depends on what you mean by 'having sex'. There are many ways in which you can give and receive sexual pleasure without having sexual intercourse.Giving each other massages, kissing and hugging can be very passionate. It's a way of sharing and showing love. For some people these activities can be more fulfilling than sexual intercourse.You get pressure from people talking about sex. You think, 'I've got to go and see what it's like'. It's hard, but you've got to resist and do what you want.It's very important not to feel pressurised into having sex when you don't really want to. Just because your friends say they are 'doing it' doesn't mean they are.Thinking through all the implications of having sex can be a useful way of helping you arrive at a decision. There are lots of reasons why people don't want to have sex. You may feel that you are not ready emotionally. Being pushed into having sex could mean you regret it later on. Some people have quite strong religious or cultural beliefs. Others just want to wait.Some people call this decision to wait 'abstinence'. The decision to abstain from having sex can be either a long-term decision or a short-term one. Some people decide that they do not want to start having sex until they are married or in a significant long-term relationship. Other people may decide that having sex isn't the right thing for them at this particular time. Later on they may meet a person who they want and feel ready to have sex with. The decision whether to have sex or not is an important one. You should do what is right for you. It should be an informed decision, and not one based on fear or pressure from others.But when a boy and girl do decide they want to have sexual intercourse, they should think about using a contraceptive unless they want to become parents. Gay men should also think about using condoms. Condoms can help stop infections like HIV as well as reducing the risk of getting pregnant.If you're thinking about having sexual intercourse, why not read our ten question checklist to help you decide if you're ready?How exactly do you have sexual intercourse? What position is best?Sexual intercourse between a boy and a girl starts with both of them getting sexually excited as a result of kissing, stroking, caressing rubbing and touching each other. This sexual excitement will result in certain physical signs of sexual excitement. For the girl, the vagina, the sexual opening between the legs begins to moisten. The boy will get an erection, which means his penis will get bigger and harden. It is important that this stimulation goes on for long enough, because if the girl is not sexually excited enough, then her vagina will not be lubricated and moist enough, and it will be difficult for the boy's penis to enter the girl's vagina.When the couple are both ready to have sexual intercourse (and this includes the boy putting a condom on if he is going to use one), it is probably easiest if either the boy or the girl uses their hand to guide the penis into the vagina. Then, once the penis is inside, the couple need to move their bodies so that the penis pushes into the vagina and then pulls partly out again. After a while this movement can lead to orgasm (coming or climaxing) for one or both of them.There are quite a number of different positions in which you can have sexual intercourse. One very common position involves both the boy and the girl lying down, with the boy lying on top (This is often referred to as the missionary position). Alternatively the girl can be on top or both the boy and the girl can lie on their sides. It is probably easiest to choose one of these positions if you are having sexual intercourse for the first time. However, you can also have sexual intercourse with both the boy and the girl sitting down, one on the other, or both can be standing up. What is most important about whichever position you choose, is that it provides stimulation and enjoyment for both of you.Will first time sex hurt?Many boys and girls are concerned that it will hurt the first time they have sexual intercourse. It can hurt and some girls do bleed a little bit. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse.The hymen is a small piece of thin skin which goes across the opening of the vagina and protects it when she is young. It has some gaps in it where the blood can come out when she has her period. Sometimes a girl might already have broken her hymen without knowing about it. For example, this can happen as a result of playing sports or horse riding.AVERT.org has more information about having sex for the first time and losing your virginity.Some accounts from young peopleSome first time sex stories have a happy ending, while others are full of regrets. Below is a selection of typical experiences.At their house"I lost my virginity when I was 13 and I still am 13 today. It hurt bad and I was so scared. I knew I couldn't tell anyone except my friend who was there. The worst part of my story is that the guy was 18. This is how my story goes."One night I stayed the night at my friend's house. We were talking to these guys I had only known for like a couple of months. They said that they would come and pick us up from her apartment. So we got ready and then they came. I didn't think that anything would happen because I had gone and hung-out with them before at their house. But this time it was different. My whole life was about to change."When we got to their house we just hung out and watched T.V. Then I laid on his bed and he jumped on me while my friend and his brother were watching a movie and making out. He started to finger me and then all the sudden I realize I am having sex. I think what made me not say no was because my friend had already had it and I wanted to, but I didn't think it would ever happen in a million years and especially when my friend and his brother were in the room."Well me and my friend haven't told anyone and I am too scared to say anything to anyone because I don't want people to think I am a hoe or I am easy or anything. But now I have to live with the guilt of not being able to tell my mom or anyone at that. Me and my mom have talked about sex and I said that I would never do it unless I was like older but I lied to myself and my mom. It made and still makes me feel so bad. I feel like kind of dirty now, but I think eventually I will get over it in time."Deciding to wait"When we'd been going out a while everyone started treating us like a couple. People assume because you're going out you have to do everything together. And, once you're an item its only a matter of time before they assume that you're having sex."But you see, we've sort of decided to wait a bit longer before we do it. I mean, we have kissed and felt each other and all that sort of thing, you know, maybe just going a little bit further each time, and sometimes I have just wanted to get it over with. You know, the first time - I've heard people say, 'you might as well get it over with, it isn't very good so why wait?'"Simon"I'd known Simon for ages, but it wasn't until Year 11 that we started going out. That was two years ago now and we've been together ever since. After about a year we both felt we wanted to have sex, go all the way. We'd nearly done it anyway what with all the snogging and fumbling we'd done on sofas and at discos. Because we were friends and talked a lot we talked about sex too."I know we were both really nervous, but talking and laughing really helped. Plus we were able to make sure nothing drastic happened. Although we loved each other loads we certainly didn't want a baby at seventeen or to put our health at risk. So we went together to the clinic, sorted things out so that there wouldn't be any worries."We made sure we picked the right time and the right place too. It would have been awful for someone to walk in on us, during our private time. What was it like? - Well it's difficult to describe because I'd never felt anything like it before really. I'd had orgasms through masturbation before, but sharing yourself with someone you love and respect was really good. It brought us closer together."A great party?"I was round at Terry's. It was a great party. Loads of people were there. I was just standing around with my mate Steve and I see this girl over his shoulder. She smiles at me, right, so I give it the business. You know, I talk to Steve but every now and then laugh really loud and look at her again, smiling loads. She kept smiling back, so I moved in. We get talking and everything's going fine. She laughed at my jokes. Next thing I know she's looking at me all soppy and we kiss. Then it all got out of control. She's whispering to me to come upstairs - you know - and I said, 'you go on, I'll come in a minute, I've got to go to the loo first', or something."Anyway she goes off and Steve comes over. He's really excited, going on about 'taking my chances' and 'having it off'. I didn't know what to say. I mean I was really excited about the kiss still and he's saying that I must be a right stud to pull a girl like that. It is true, I have had lots of girlfriends but it doesn't mean I'm experienced. I mean, I'm really good at the chatting up and smooth-talking but I've never actually done it. Slept with someone. But I couldn't tell him that could I?"Anyway I went upstairs, and found her in the bedroom, with all the lights off on top of a pile of coats. She had taken off half her clothes. I had been intending to say something. All the way upstairs I'd been thinking, 'tell her, tell her you're a virgin.' But how could I? I just knew she thought I wanted to have sex. I was thinking, 'I don't want it like this, what about protection and that?'"It was awful, looking back, but I did it. I fumbled around and we were hardly talking so eventually, after a bit of wrestling I got it in and it lasted about 10 seconds. I just got dressed and left. I kept thinking, 'well I've done it but what could it have been like?'"----------------------------------------------------Are you ready to have sex???http://teenadvice.about.com/library/blsextest1.htmtake the test
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): hello darling, when i read your story i thaught it was actualy me that rote it and i had just forgoten about it.im going throuhg the EXACT same thing right know.im 13, and iv had this boyfriend for a yearhe always says that where going to get marriedand i hope we do, and he has fingerd me oncebut i want to really get intop and do everythingapart from interncorse cause im to youung for that =)but hunny, whatever you want to do is great!if yous love eachother heaps and heaps, and you use protectionthen it should be fine, but just dont tell everyoneit could rewin your rep, and you may end up getting called a slut :Strust me , i would no.so i hope my adivie helpd you out a bitand i hope everythings going well with you to xXx
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female
reader, Shelbyy-x +, writes (29 November 2007):
 I'm a 14 year old girl who lost my virginity at 12 and i regret it so much. the guy i lost it to i dont even see or talk to anymore.. probably because he is in jail but still...Don't have sex!!!! as everyone is saying, do other things. fingering feels just as good if not better, I'm a bisexual girl so i would know.hun.. im asking you.. please dont have sex.and if you ever need anything or anything to talk to just message me or something.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): hi well im 13 as well and i feel like i want sex but i no not to be so stupid and to be honest with you i would wait but thats up to you really. have you both spoke about this? are you sure your not being pressured into it?and have you even thorght about the law? it is likely if you have started you period and you are not using contriception that you will end up preagnent at 13 and my friend was preg and she sed it was the biggest mistacke of her life but obvo is happy with her lil boy now. anyway the chose is yours but think hard befor deciding
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): Ok hi im angalina im 14 I have experienced ur feeling its hard 2 get over but u will eventually get over it dry sex does feel good but real sex doesent espeically at ur age u have more importent things 2 think about like school and edjucation so u can get a good job when u grow up but all this thinking about sex makes u not think well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): he says he is gonna marry you, yea right!
and i am gonna buy you the whole world!
don't have sex with him you are way too young. and if you wanna so it well use a condom duh!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): im 15 and i have had sex with with myy girlfriend , she was 11 and i was 13 , i dont think she enjoyed it the first time , but now me and her do it aboiut once a week . all i saying is that you should first open yourself-finger dido etc . else it will hurt. speek to him about it and ask him wat he thinks ,he probably will say yes , but start off with blowjobs oral and maybe he could finger u a bit. let him think hes in charge wen u do it, but before you do it swear him to secrecy if he tells ,accusebhim of rape:):):):):)
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reader, Larana  +, writes (3 November 2007):
Hi, i am Larana
i am 13 too. i live in Cyprus, at school so many boys like me but one of them i like & i have to speak Greek to him , i want to tell him but i know my friend will make fun of me. so i will let him find out by his self. a lot the boys in Cyprus would say to a girl 'i love you' and then they will say to everybody 'thats my girlfriend' what if the girl thinks that the boy is ugly, like i think!
And as for sex...13 year old... i think its too young. (15, 16 is a
good time to start)
all boys will want from you is sex and then they will tell everybody at school
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Use lots of protection if you have sex. USe birthcontrol and condoms.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Hand Jobs and blow jobs still count as sex. Thirteen is too young; you can mess up a lot of things and be potentially scarred for life.
I'm a 15 year old male virgin - maybe I'm just jealous.
Why is everyone not spelling things correctly?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): OMG!!!!! hey im Emma....i had the same problem!!! My ex-boyfriend tried to rape me the secound week we where datin cause i wouldnt have sex with him! i wanted to wait until i got married(THATS THE SMART THING TO DO)....i dumped him I LOVE MY NEW BF!! one month an 2 weeks an all we do is blow jobs an stuff!!!!! WAIT UNTIL U MARRIED GURL!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): Hun I'm not going to judge you, If you think your ready then go for it, the fact that you are posting that on the internet asking strangers for advice says something but i don't know.
If you love him and if he loves you then go for it, If you arnt ready then don't.
Don't be pressured into it or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
You can only be a virgin once, after that...
My advice would be to use a condom or get birth control pills. It's difficult to get birth control pills if you don't want your mum or dad to know that your having sex so i'd say the best and cheapest way is using a condom.
Good Luck and i know you'll make the right decision =D
xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): well please dont do sex u still so young cant u wait like when u 20 and up cause then u will not have a profesional carrer take my eample im 14 and i want to have sex with my boyfriend but i cant im way too young to e even thinking abou that
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): well im 13, But my advise 2 u is use a condom, its obvious tha u r both ready to have sex. so knock it up a notch use a condom believe me it helps.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): all of these answers r rubbish if u wanna have it wiv him ask him if he ses yes do it, but if he ses no find another boy tht will b happy to do wat u wanna do.and im 1 of them kinda boys ;)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): Look girl your only 13 and have your whole life ahead of you! Im 15 and my boyfriend is 17 and he wants us to wait till im 18 before we have sex... iv been with him for 9months. But thats not the thing even though i want it and iv read allll about it you should atleast wait till ur 16 and legalle! I mean ur only 13 for crying out loud! ...im sorry but i just feel ur kinda ... young, try more dry humping, maybe hand jobs and a blow jobs will help but dont have sex.. please
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): hi i am 13 and my bf is 19 and we had sex when i was 12 and he was 18 we love each other if u guys love each other go for it just use a condom to be safe.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): use a condom? duh? ...if ur scared that the condom would break or something go on google and search for Condom Education :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Hey...
I'm kiana. Sex is a huge step you're going to take in your life. Probably the biggest decision you'll make. He may say he loves you, but would he STILL love you if you were to get pregnant? I'm 15, and my boyfriend and I love eachother so much. We both agreed sex can wait, but decided that it was right. When we do make love, its a 100% protected and I'm on birthcontrol and he uses a condom. Sex is an amazing thing, but only if you're with the right person. Don't let others say youre a whore for being so young, because some ppl are just younger than others... it really depends. But make sure you know its right. Good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Hey excuse me ure 13! Fine but if ure gunna have sex make sure it is safe sex my boyfriend said should we hav sex so i dumped him save ure self hunni you cud find someone so much better i am 13 and happy wif ma new boyfriend and he said he would never do that to me or hurt me! xXx stay safe xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): hey. im also 13 and i wanna have sex with my boyfriend(15). but he's more sensible and he said that he did not want anything to happen to me. so i said okie. we have blowjobs too. and we're equally turned on. try it^^
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): i know how it feels but you need to find the right moment and the right guy just wait and see you will regret it
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): option(1):ask him to wear a condum
option(2):take birth control pills
option(3):have anal sex or just suck have oral sex (blowjob)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): I have the exact same problem dear and let me tell you that my best friend thinks I'm a whore for wanting it so bad. I'm a 13-year-old virgin and my boyfriend and I have already discussed the matter of sex and the use of condoms. He's 15 and we've been dating for 4 monts now and it seems like we should do it soon, but I think waiting for the right time and moment would be best. but if you do have sex with him, make sure he truly loves you and that the condom should already be lubricated so that there will be less chance of breaking the condom in case of too much friction. Also, try to get fingered by him first. Every first time is bound to hurt, but fingering should help a bit. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): im also 13 . my boyfriend and i have been on and off for about 1 year and 5 months . but we've been steady for the past 3 months and things are going really good. i think its just puppy love but than i think i really do love him with everything i got. we are planning on having sex soon. so i know how you feel , wanna talk . message me
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female
reader, suger-sweet23 +, writes (22 July 2007):
 If you dont want to use a comdom,get birth control and get tested,(the both of you),just in case,and if you just want sex use a very protictive comdom.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): U r only human and of course u feel dat way but he's lien to get in ur pants make him wait longer and see wat happens
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): hi im tommy i lost my virginity to my girlfriend izzy we have been together since year 4 and were startin year nine now and im still 13 so go 4 it make him happy and u happy use a condom. dont get pregnant
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): wow, and I mean wow. When i was 13 i wasnt thinking about sex only doing other things. But since you are I'll lend you a hand. DONT DO IT! I thought I was head over heals for a guy madly in love when I was 14, MISTAKE AND A HALF!Please for the sake of your own mind, hold it off for a little while and think about it. I didnt, then i had sex with him and he droped me like a ton of bricks, so please do yourself a favour and think it through.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): My boyfriend and I had sex, (Me being 15/ Him 14) we are in love but that doesn't meant that having sex is a good idea. But, if you want to have sex make sure it's mutual (meaning: you both want it). Make sure the timing is right, and you're in the right atmosphere. And MAKE SURE YOU USE A CONDOM! The first time is always awkward.. and quick and nerve racking.I say, since you've only been going out for 3 months then you might want to wait a little... 3 months is a little less than a long time. Think twice before you make an honest decision, chances are, there's going to be regretful feelings in the future.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): Well I hd sex when I was 13 (now I'm 14) but now I kinda regret it cuz I think back on it and I feel weird sumtimes. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year but we did it a month before that I'm telling u, u will regret it and its only been 3 months!!!! R u sure he acually luvs u ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): i know it's probably not what you want to hear but you are too young. you may think you're in love and are going to get married,but you can't know that at your age. but even if that was true then it means you have the rest of your life to have sex. wait until you're older. you won't regret waiting but you might regret it if you don't
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female
reader, bovvalicious +, writes (10 July 2007):
 ok well i posted a comment like this as well. have u actually spoken to ur bf about sex?! and "sex practises" is more commonly known as dry sex it does feel good though doesnt it. u have the rest of ur life to have sex and it shouldnt be rushed especially if it is ur first time. i think ur first time should be with someone u can see urself with in the future if u do decide to have sex just be sure to use protection.
if you want to talk message me!!! always here to help
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 July 2007):
 You should keep on having your "sex practices" until you are older. 3 months is hardly long enough to really get to know someone. There is the whole rest of your life to have sex. What's the hurry? Read up on human sexuality, know all about reproduction and by all means (when you are older) make sure you have birth control (pill, patch, IUD,...) PLUS a condom before you consider sex. Unless you have gotten the vaccine, having sex at your age may cause cervical cancer later on. Just take it easy, there's a world of time for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): you are to young to have sex
you are in puppy love which dont really last long
all boys want from a girl is sex and if you do it then he will think he is incharge
xXx stay blessed xXx
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female
reader, JessAgonyAunt +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Hey, your too young for sex you will be breaking the law, your only 13 what if you meet someone else? you would wish that you waited for them?, i know you may not think it now but chances are you will meet someone else, if you do decide to have sex use protection like a condom.
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