A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a friend, he is my best friend from last 3 years and he has a younger sister, she is now 18 years old and my age is 20. she always call me brother (bhai/bhaiya) because i am indian. i also don't have any problem she is just like my sister but nowadays (from 3-4days) i love her as a girlfriend. i always talk with her through online chat and sms. we talk continue 5-9hrs. yesterday i told her that i love you as a girlfriend. she said to me that "i like you so much but i never think about you like this because i call you brother (bhaiya) ". so please tell me what should i do. I really love her. should i marry with her if she wants to be my girlfriend ??
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (19 June 2012):
Hi. I think it's wise to ask her out.
Unfortunately chatting online and texting, can become a bit of a way of life and it can become a habit, which is hard to break.
The main reason being, it is so easy, as you don't have to get out of your chair!
It's almost taken the place of ordinary telephone calls.
Really though, it's not nearly as good as actually being there with that person.
And it makes it only like a "pretend" friendship.
And the longer you choose to communicate only by texting or chatting online, the more likely it is to stay that way almost forever!
You just don't really get to know each other as intimately as you would if you saw each other regularly.
Surely, you would rather have a real friendship with your friend's sister, than just talking by electronic means?
When you see each other, you can hug each other, look at each other's faces, you can really get to know each other so much better than you could by texting or internet chatting.
See if you can cut down the time you spend texting or internet chatting with her, and instead call her on the telephone and have a real conversation.
And then, ask her to coffee so you can be more present in the moment, with her.
To pursue a friendship only by electronic means, is really an artificial friendship, as it lacks so much.
And it is rather impersonal, as well.
There really is no comparison between the two.
And just supposing you do ask her to coffee and she says "Yes" to you, well then will be your chance to get to know her much better.
Don't rush the girlfriend and boyfriend thing too soon, and don't apply any pressure on her either.
Just let her set the pace and in time, it will probably just naturally evolve into that status all by itself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Dorothy, i'll try this :-)
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (15 June 2012):
Hi there. Why are you only just chatting online, why is it that you don't just see each other?
Chatting online is wasting time, when you could actually be together.
Even a phone call would be better than simply chatting online, surely.
Why not call her on the telephone, and ask her out to a movie or take her to a cafe for coffee and cake and a nice long chat - in person?
Even if you chat on video or webcam, it still doesn't come anywhere near actually being together.
If you do go out to a cafe, you could then say how you do feel about her, and see what she says.
Then take it from there.
The good part is you obviously seem to get along really well, so that's a pretty good start.
So why not take the next step and just ask her out?
The longer you leave it to do this, the more likely it is that you may never do it at all.
Because you might just talk yourself out of it and make a whole bunch of excuses, why you shouldn't bother.
It just depends on how much you really like this girl, doesn't it?
If you like her as much as you say you do, then do something about it now.
Don't wait any longer.
Because if you do, someone else might steal her out from under your nose! By them asking her out.
Make hay while the sun shines.
In other words, don't let this opportunity pass you by.
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