A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a bi male I've known this woman since last August, but we've only been dating since March. And this would be my first relationship with a woman. (I've dated women before but it never went anywhere nor did it get sexual.) Prior to dating this woman. (I'll just call her "A".) She was a really good friend to me, and so far she has been a really great girlfriend. She is a few years younger than I am. She is patient, caring, funny, cute, loyal, sometimes outspoken, and for someone that's younger than I am, she is very wise.Before you ask i'm not questioning if I am attracted to her or not, that's not the problem. The problem is taking it to the next step, as in getting sexual. She turns me on but when things get a little too heated I stop us from going any further. And I cannot for the life of me figure out why."A" is pretty patient she has not once got frustrated with me for stopping, I'm not sure if its because she, like me (when it comes to females) is still a virgin and isn't ready to lose her virginity yet or if it's another reason why she isn't frustrated. "A" is also bi and that's her reasoning for being a virgin because she prefers females.So what is my problem, is it because i'm so use to being only with males? Or is there another reason?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): OP here. To the anonymous female poster, I had considered I was gay before I met "A". But from the moment we met I've felt this attraction towards her, which she would be the first woman I've felt this way about. I 100% desire her, and before I finally got the courage to ask her out I often thought about what it would be like to be with her sexually. Now I have finally gotten a chance to find out, i'm being a wuss and backing out.
chipmunk37 you might have a point about unconsciously having anxiety over performing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): You have dated females before and not got sexual but you have with men you dated. Now you have the opportunity to have sex with a woman and something inside is stopping you. Have you considered the fact that you might just be gay and not bi?
I find some women attractive but I wouldn't label myself as bi. The sexual desire does not exsist for me. I do enjoy and desire sex with men so that is where my sexuality lies. If you've never wanted sex with a woman as well as a man I'd guess you are not bi.
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A
female
reader, chipmunk37  +, writes (26 August 2015):
 I think to a degree it is because you are used to being with men. Maybe unconsciously you have anxiety over performing with a woman, of pleasing her because what feels good to a man does not necessarily feel good to a woman, some of the magical, special spots that bring on amazing orgasmic bliss are in different places. That being said however, if the problem is unconscious fear of performing, do not focus on the difference between making love to a man and making love to a woman focus on this that are the same. Find the middle ground, so to speak, and focus on that till you get more comfortable and knowledgeable with the female body.
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