A
female
age
36-40,
*orriblefeelings
writes:I have been with a wonderful guy for over a year now and have been living with him for about three months now. We have a wonderful realtionship. Well we did. There were a few times I lied to him. We broke up once for a day and then got back together, over someone at my work. I promised i wouldnt speak to that guy again...i did..more than once and he found out. Well there is someone else i used to talk to a long time ago, a much older male who always gave the me wrong attention. My boyfriend told me he was uncomfortable with me talking to him and i stoped. I didnt mind. But yesterday i looked the old friend up and sent him some messages. I dont know why i did. But i have come to relize when me and my boyfriend are hitting rough times, that is when it seems i do these things. I dont think about them. I just do it. were starting to get distant, we have no sexual chemistry anymore. Were both stressed out with his car being fixed after an accident and mine always breaking down and money and college. were always broke and are not able to do anything. I am not giving up on our relationship. But i want to know how to fix it. Im at a loss. I want us to be us again, happy, young and in love. I lie to him at times, i do stupid things. I dont know why. I hurt him.
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female
reader, robynnex  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 i have this exact same problem.!
a guy could love me with all his heart and i wouldnt care. maybe its because you've been hurt before i know that why i am like this.
I came to the conclusion that i dont do relationships anymore because i dont want to hurt anyone .
even if you do still love him maybe you should end it and just be friends me and my ex did that and now we're best friends before you hurt him and lose him forever
maybe thats all you were meant to be just friends.
dont worry i know how you feel.
everyone thinks your a horrible person but im sure your not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Hey there
Well that is our biggest mistake some of us arent as lucky as you to find that someone special that does not have a wrong bone in his body.And the mistake is that ur are taking him for granted which is so wrong there are girls out there dieing to find what you ve got.And another thing you would go through alot of more ruf time but that is what a relationship is about sticking together make it work.Im also in that spot where both me and my fiance is stressad out about thing and we are also broke but we are working through it together.Just remember you wont get back what you once had but you can make it better the reason im sayin this is you were happy buy you and you fiance wasnt ready to face life then .So you say you dont give up so make it better.I wouldn't normaly say this but tell him what he means to you make him feel like he is on top of the world and stop doing things that yoou know will hurt him.Becuase they say you dont know what you have got till its gone
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (10 January 2008):
You sound just like my girlfriend.I wish i could slap you on behalf of your boyfriend!
You really need to look at yourself and ask yourself honestly why you do those things.If it's because of something your boyfriend's not doing or doing better talk to him and sort it out.I also see a problem i see in alot of ladies including my girl.Some of you women are never satisfied even if you have a man that loves you the way you always dreamed of.I guess you are just satisfying some desire you keep ignoring.It sounds you really wana make it work.Delete those numbers and focus on your current boyfriend and deal with your problems together.That way you'll grow close and maybe even the chemistry you lack may come back.Make a goal da next day that you won't lie to him and improve upon it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Check your self . If you want to improve your relationship , you need to change first. Be more loving , more understanding , more supportive ,more affectionately and he will respond in kind.
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