A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:PLEASE HELP AGE 21 WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 2 1/4 YEARS AND NOW SHE BROKE UP WITH ME. We had been together, soo happy and this was a serious relationship we were planning on buying a house end of year but before all that happened we broke up. We spent a lot of time together and because of that I lost most of my friends, don't have any more friends and just don't know what to do. As I said we were very happy together, loved each other or I guess I did and she had a lot of financial problems she didn't yet live with me so I always helped her financially and this time when she asked me for money I couldn't help her since I had financial problems myself. So she decided to break up with me saying that she needed someone who could help her with her problems. It's been 3 days now and I just feel like I dont exist without her. I called her soo many times she won't pick up. I went to her place she's not there, her car's not there, just can't stop thinking of her and have these questions in my head is she seeing someone else?She doesn't even care how I feel. I can't do anything and just feel like sleeping and not waking up. This was my first love and it hurts soo much, I just feel like she was the one and I won't find anyone like her. Can't stop crying and thinking of her, tears just pouring out of my eyes especially today, I can't believe she doesn't even care how I feel. Do you think she's seeing someone else? Will I get over this and how fast will I get over this? Thanks. Please someone respond... What do I do? Still try contacting her, I just want to know what she's doing, if she's seeing someone and does she feel the same? How can she not even pick up my phone call?
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (20 August 2007):
 I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but now you have had the confirmation that you did not wnat you are just going to have to just try and pull yourself together.
It hurts like hell i know and i'm not saying you will get over it overnight but you will get over it.
You really do need to avoid trying to contact her or trying to go and see her because evrytime you do that it will just delay the healing process.
Have you got any family around you that you can spend some time with because i find it is really good to have your family round you at a time like this and the reason i ended up on this site was because my husband left me and i did not know what to do with myself and i have children so i could not go out all of the time, so i tapped into this to get some advice and ended up becoming an aunt, it has been a great help to me.
If you want to talk feel free to mail me.xx.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank youu soo much for all those who answered. Well this is what happened yesterday well fine she broke up with me fine ok but since i loved her soo much i just felt like maybe talking to her and get things straightened out i mean fine ok im not perfect but i thought i could win her back so i decided to go to her house she wasnt there. Then i went to the movie theatre and saw her car there so i waited from 7:00-10:30 until she came out of the movies and when she came out she was standed infront of me walking towards me with another guy she tried to move away from him acting like she didnt know him or anything just broke my heart right there i was in shock i couldnt move my legs were shaking and jus this was the worse feeling ever in my life. She came out and i asked her why thats all i need to know is why? she said i told you its over between us................I just couldnt stand it anymore and that feeling that another person will be holding her the way i did, kissing her the way i did, touching her feeling her the way i did just made me sooo broken and weak. Once i got in my car driving off just tears started pouring out non stop havnt slept all night just thinking what have i ever done to her loved her soo much never even shouted at her just once probably always tried my best and this is what i get. Even today im just getting weaker havnt slept all night and now sitting in the pc tears pouring out cant go to work cant do anything. . . Anyhelp will be appreciated here i hope this feeling in my heart and stomach gets better otherwise i dont know what im going to do.
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (20 August 2007):
 i say this she was with you yes but she also wanted things from you like money alot right? well that just shows how mature she really is and not much at all, your young get out there meet new people and socialy go out to a club make your self better.
even thow it seemed good to you hun it was unheathy for you to be in that relationship and to tell you if you'll get over this EVER ??? well YES you will in time now as for how long ?
that all depends on you!
your the one that makes that call dont rush things into getting over her yes i believe you should give your self time to move on and get your self together and dont look back things are over to dont go running and begging that just ruins anything your trying to get over sweetie so give your self time and be glad even thow its hard to get your self out of a relationship that isnt going any where for you and i do wish you the best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): It sounds like to me that she was using you for your money. Outside of this, was she acting stange around you? It also sounds like she has been seeing someone else all of this time. I am sorry. I know what you are going through. Right now is the worst time. The only thing I can tell you is to keep your mind busy. Try not to think about her. It will be hard. Like I said, it looked like she was using you, showing you no respect. Remember that. Try not to beat yourself up about this. Keep moving. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (20 August 2007):
How often was she in financial trouble? Did she bring herself out of it, just to get back in debt and have you flying in to the rescue? Sounds like she was using you. If this is true, forget about the mooch. You deserve better.
Yes it hurts, it hurts because things seemed to have been going well for so long, and then suddenly disaster struck. Your system has been shocked, but you will get over it. You realized now that she's a shallow mooch and it is better now than if things advanced to marriage or even just living together.
Call some of those old friends, no harm in that. Go out, meet new people. Keep your mind busy or it will become too busy overanalyzing this and torturing you.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (20 August 2007):
Hi,
I hate to say this and it is only my opinion, but i think maybe she is seeing someone else and she used you not helping her financially as her reason to get out so she did not have to tell you the truth.
You will get over this and you will find someone better, how long it will take is up to you, you need to help yourself, stop trying to call her because every time you don't get a response it will make you feel even worse, don't sit around moping get out even if it is by yourself, go for a walk or something.
Think about this she was going out with you all the time it suited her, so why would you want to be with someone like that.
You can do much better than that and deserve much better than that.
Take care.x.
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