A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been going out for three months now and i am starting to develop feelings for her but shes unsure. Im scared from past relationships while shes had none. I want a fairly serious relationship but she just wants fun and wants to take things very slowly. I always get carried away emotionally whereas she's emotionally blocked off. How do i keep my emotions in check? What should i do? I feel confused because i really like her and enjoy being with her but dont know how to cope being serious about her when shes not certain about me and doesnt want anything intense. Help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (13 April 2007):
 there is nothing wrong with being romantic that is part of what women want in a relationship, but before she agree to anything and a man start showering with expensive and romantic gifts the truth is she can become overwhelmed by the gesture that only a good woman will tell him to stop while the not so good one will mislead him and even use him. so that is why u must be very careful with this kind of thing, allow nature to take its course and all these heavy gifts must come later. you can avoid this pain by learning to build a friendship first because it will give you an idea if that is the woman you are looking for or not before you get carried away. wish you the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks has been very helpful, ive done some thinkin of my own and i think ive always been confused by relationships, ive always set out to be the most romantic man ever thinkin thats what they want to make them proud to be with me also pride in themselves really, when i was young id go out with grls for a week and if it was there bday spend loads on romantic presents, i think doin all this i get carried away and to involved without meaning to, try to hard and am over eager,after all the effort i kind of invest my feelings without meaning to
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (12 April 2007):
maybe you feel a bit insecure around her try to relax, excuse yourself when the pressure is too much to bear because you dont want to scare her. also try to meet in public areas that way you will not get carried away, instead of being sexually intimate this early avoid that because it might destruct other things like her pending decision and learn to do little things like walks if you stay in a closer vicinity maybe jog together in the morning or late, find somethings that makes you guys closer emotionally like hobbies, if you both of you like reading share about what you read all this will keep the tension away and at the same time it will help you bond and also give her time to think while she enjoys your company. pm me if this is not what you are looking for.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionproblem is i always get carried away emotionally, she feels pressured by that and i struggle to control myself at times, any tips for how to keep myself in check?im not sure why im that way seems quite strange for a stereotypical bloke but i get involved very quickly without meaning to, i tend to think too much and obsess without meaning to
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (11 April 2007):
Hi
The solution to this is to learn to free yourself when you are around her and be yourself. Ever heard “opposite attract” I think this is what is happening here and I must say this is an exciting and scary type of relationship because you never know if what you like is what she dislikes. Talk about things like this make sure you are at the same page if you think taking it slow doesn’t work for you maybe this is not it. However It is always better to take things slow at the beginning of the relationship so to allow nature to take its cause sometimes rushing into serious a relationship in the early stages it ruins the relationship because later you may find that there are so many things you didn’t consider early that could have been prevented. Allow the process and build a good friendship while at it this will give her enough time to decide if you are the one she had been looking for. belive me you don’t want to be involved with someone who is not into to you. So many people end up inlove while all they ever wanted was to have fun so as long as she wants to give you guys a chance I think its good news don’t you think?. Good luck
Jovial
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