A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf rarely puts me first. In most aspects of life. The one I understand most is the job one. He's in a 3 yr training period which he must pass to have a job. So I get that that comes first cos he's investing in both our futures. But he promises me after that I'll always come first and he'll always be there. Problem is, he wasn't always there before he started training, so why would after be different? An example is: We once has a problem where the condom came off and I got upset and panicked [for obvious reasons], but instead of staying with me he went off to a sport meeting and came back hours later. Just stuff like that makes me always feel second place. What do I do? Do I wait out the training period?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): You gave one example where he left when you were upset. Can you give any others?
Was his sport meeting set in advance, or was he just spontaneously going to a meeting? I can see the scenario either way: he couldn't handle being around you while you were freaking out, so he left to do something to help himself relax. My boyfriend is the same: if I'm overly emotional about something hit or miss, definitely not 100 percent important, he'll hug me and walk away. Sometimes men don't know how to handle extreme emotion.
If you can provide additional examples of how you're always taking a backseat to other things in his life, I'd be happy to comment on them, but with one example, it's hard to say.
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