A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is the classic, 'Oh no I'm in love with my best friends brother' scenario.However, It's not a silly crush and unfortunately really do love him.He's not perfect, we get on really well and but well never actually be together, I've accepted these things and I still can't get him out of my mind.I've liked, progressing to love, him for at least 3/4 years now and I almost forgot about him until this one night where I was staying round my best friends house, he stumbled in drunk and lay on the sofa next to me, held me, caressed my hands, wrapped me up with the duvet etc. Just little things that showed that there might have been a chance in a million something could happen or that he liked me a little bit back. He woke up the next morning, not remembering a thing and carried on like usual.Unfortunately I carried on clinging to that chance in a million, even though I knew he was drunk, he is my best friends brother and that nothing will ever happen. His tiny display of affection has just left me so confused.I find it hard to hold enthusiasm in a relationship, and they always end within 2 months because the flame just dwindles out. The fact is that I just can't ever stop thinking about him, and I lose all passion for other men.He's really messed me up.Is there any way to forget about him or just gain closure?Do you have any advice on how to maintain relationships if I can't gain closure?Should I act on my feelings at all?These irrational feelings have bothered me for years, any help would be so amazing :)
View related questions:
best friend, crush, drunk, friend's brother Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): have you tried distancing yourself from him, it really is the best way to move on, limit the me spent at your friends house to times when you are certain he wont be around, dont talk to him through social media or anything like that, if you have him as a facebook friend delete him, if you have his number, delete it. then get out there and find someone to love you for you, and make you feel special and to make you happy. i know it sounds horrible, but its not a rebound, its moving on, put more of an effort in to these relationships and stop expecting them to fail after two months, its those niggling worries that lead to the failures, your dooming yourself before you begin. most importantly OP you need to really want to do this, you cant hold out any hope that he will one day turn around and confess his love, you cant pretend to yourself. you need to be honest with yourself. dont make excuses to visit your friend hoping he will be there. i am serious when i say cut him out!!!! and move on. if that fails all i can suggest is being upfront about it, you are both adults, and mature enough to deal with this sort of thing i am assuming, tell him how you feel, ask him if there is a chance you two might give it a try, if he says no, accept it and move on. do what makes you happy, holding onto false hope and dragging this out is only going to lead to more and more hurt, and it will destroy you. trust me.
|
