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female
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anonymous
writes: What is up with my ex? I broke up with him about 2 months ago, and he is back in town. He keeps asking me to go skiing tomorrow and I keep saying that I don't want to and that I don't want to be his friend or get back with him or anything because he is disrespectful. Well, today he texted me that he can't be with me because I'm too much of a good girl for him. But, I broke up with him! He is delusional! Then I said if asking for respect from him and me not smoking or having sex before marriage makes me too much of a good girl then whatever. He said I'm also too indecisive (because I broke up with him so many times, always returning because he made me feel guilty in so many ways and truthfully just wouldn't leave me alone). I said I always hoped he would change and that's why I never really followed through with my breakups until this last time. He thinks I should just let everything go and see him this weekend but I know that since I still have feelings for him and he does for me that I don't trust myself or him. Anyway, he went on to say that I have a cold heart and that I don't know anything about love. What?! I forgave him and wish him well and just asked for a little respect! I said that he has a lot to learn about love because if he loves me so much he will respect me! It told him to please leave me alone. Anyway, after all this he just said "blah blah blah....we fight enough to be married...lol....I'm picking you up at 6 in the morning to go skiing." Are you kidding?! Is he really that stupid?? I asked him what he wants from me since he said I was too much of a good girl and indecisive and he said he wants me just to smile and be the girl he loves and that he will be the guy I love. He last said that he thinks it's okay for me to be wild once in awhile. I'm sorry, but to me smoking cigarettes is disgusting and he knows that I don't like to get wasted to the point where I will throw up-like he made me do so many times. And to me, even though we had sex many times, waiting is important to me. He says that waiting doesn't matter to him, yet he constantly says I'm making a big deal out of little things and that I must be cheating on him or not love him if I don't sleep with him. I haven't responded yet. And I guess my question is what do I do??? He's like a drug, and no matter how many times I say I'm not going to answer his calls or respond to his text messages I always do. I need help!
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female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (9 December 2007):
 Noone can force you to stop responding to him but yourself. Noone can make you forget someone but yourself so all im saying that this is all on you. You control your life as well as you control your actions. You have to try harder to convince yourself that he is not worth any of your time. Someone that manipulates you into doing things you arent quite ready for are people who dont deserve the pure love we can give. The sooner you realize he is taking advantage of you, the better. Sweetie, try to understand that it seems like he can come and go whenever he wants and you welcome him with open arms. This is a problem only you can fix for yourself. He isnt worth the suffering. If you feel like you just cant help responding to him, then just simply try changing your number and anything he can contact you with. It may not be much but it would help out a little. Drop him and make him apart of your past. He isnt worth to make it to your future. Good luck!
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