A
female
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anonymous
writes:right here it goes. i am currently dating man A but i am starting to have feelings for another lets call him man B, i am 16 years old. Man A has proposed to me and i accepted but i really like this other guy. PLEASE HELP ME!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, One Of The Ancients +, writes (3 August 2006):
Just because someone asked you to marry him doesn't mean you have to say Yes. Since you're already having doubts about Man A, who's to say you won't develop similar doubts about Man B?
Why the big rush to get married anyway?
I was married at 17, sick of it by 20, divorced by 24.
Listen to the Voice That Knows: your tastes will change a lot in the next ten years, even in the next five. Imagine all the things that were important to you when you were in Year 6. That was only about four or five years ago. Now concentrate and remember the clothes you wore, the games you played, the friends you had, the TV you loved, the music you sang and danced to.
Now... what if I trotted out all those things in front of you today and said "Here it is! I saved all this for you because I knew you'd always love it!"
You'd be mortified. You'd think I'd lost my mind if I presented you with a set of jangly earrings that you thought were great when you were 11. You'd laugh at me for hauling out the clothes you thought were so chichi.
And that was just five years ago. Can you imagine how much more you're going to change in your outlook and interests in the next five?
If you get married, you're basically cementing everything you like *today* into permanence. I promise you, you'll grow out of the relationship and you'll grow to hate it, because that's what the teenage years do. They change you.
So don't get married to either man. Be young. Enjoy your freedom. Meet people and go places, and learn things and have experiences. And when you're tired of having a wild time, that's when you start thinking about marriage.
A
female
reader, kirstylouise +, writes (2 August 2006):
16 is a very young age to accept a marriage proposal. Its clear that your not going to be with man A forever since you are already experiencing feelings for man B. I think the best thing to do would be to take some time out away from both of them. Collect your thoughts and really think about what it is you want. When starting a relationship with someone it should be because you want them there and not because you need them so with that in mind think about whether you want to commit to someone or whether you want to be out there having fun! When a relationship is right you will know beyond shadow of a doubt, you will have no hesitations about being with that one person. I don't think either of these guys make you feel that way- do you? I hope you find a solution that makes you happy. take care xx
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (2 August 2006):
 WHOA!!! Hold your horses, girl!! So, so young to tie yourself down at your tender age!!!
I was married at the age of 18, and had my first child soon after. I thought I was 'in love' with my husband, and had to be satisfied with just being 'content', for years and years, only to leave my husband after wasting 31 years of my life regretting it!!
Please, PLEASE learn from my unhappy experience - GET out there, have some fun, meet loads of people, travel, learn all you can about the world - then you will be in a better place to really know what it is you REALLY want..BE HAPPY, you only live once, please don't get to my age and look back to regret your hasty decision which ruined your life and robbed you of opportunities! You will change, and your tastes will change as you get older - hey, in a years' time you may not fancy either of these men, so don't rush..I'm sure you are a lovely girl and it is romantic and flattering when you get your first marriage proposal. But marriage should be a lasting thing. When the time comes and you are really in love with someone, you will know he is the one, and you will barely notice other men, let alone fancy them - you will have eyes ONLY for him..That's the difference!! Be happy, do what is right - and take care of yourself! I am happier now since I left my ex, but now it's too late for me to be so choosy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): ok, first i might start off by saying what the heck are you doing accepting a marriage proposal at the age of 16? you're not even legal to see a rated-R movie yet. my suggestion is that you break off the marriage plans and realize that you just became eligible to drive a car this year, therefore can't possibly know what you want for the rest of your life. and the fact that you're developing feelings for 'man B' proves clearly that you're not ready for any type of committment like marriage. you're so young. enjoy your teenage years and stop worrying so much about relationships. you've got the rest of your life for that.
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