A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:guys help me out.iam workin in an alien land wth no family n friends its really hard, i thought i will be ok in some months but things got worse, my boss i hate him to death, and egoistic, irritatin idiot.thers nth i can do to right now coz iam new and he is really powerful, i have a loving bf but i get frequent moodswings due to professional problems and its affectin my relationship, help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): I can understand just where you are coming from. I hate my boss too. He really is horrible to me, and only me, but i blot it out as best i can and it would never ever harm my home life. Just look around for another job, i know it isn't easy. I just stick my job out because i get a lot of time on my own, therefore i can do this Aunty Shandy Pop bit. It helps out by helping other people and the money is really good here. You need to start looking around now and get out of there as soon as possible. If you are in a foreign land then it must be much harder but not impossible. What kind of work do you do? I bet there are others who work there who feel just the same. If there is then have a word with them. Just make sure they are not two-faced and running back to him with your info.
Take care and move on.
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): As you are new - leave.
Seriously. You could try talking to your boss but it is highly unlikely that he, or your company, are going to change things and put right all the build up feelings you have about the place. So just find another job and leave, as soon as you can. No job is worth destroying your personal life over, but if you keep enduring it that is what will end up happening.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
Maybe you should try to talk with your boss and see why he's acting this way around you. Maybe ask questions about how you could improve your work habits around the office and things like this. Then at least your boss could see you're trying and might ease up a bit.
If things still aren't good at work, you could try to talk with your HR representative/generalist if you have one (not sure what sort of job you have). Talking with them could lead to results - you shouldn't let your work life affect you to the point of it ruining your relationship - something has to be done.
Have you tried to see if there are open positions in other departments? Perhaps you can be transferred? Or maybe you can even keep your same job but be moved into a different organization (I know someone who did this where I work).
I guess the last thing you could consider is finding a job at a different company. You shouldn't have to do this, but I know that working under your stressful conditions would be far worse if nothing can be done about it.
So yes - talk with your boss, if it doesn't work then contact someone in HR, if that doesn't work perhaps you can be transferred, and as a last resort you could see about employment with another company.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Try raising the issue with your boss if you feel there's any chance he might understand. Let him know you're feeling that he's a bit hard on you. You're doing your best and you're improving every day but you're still new.
Second, look around, see if your boss is treating your co-workers the same way. It may not sound like much but it's always a great relief to know that you're not the only one being unfairly treated.
I'm sure your boyfriend understands that your mood swings are rather because of work than him, but try to control yourself and not bring thoughts of work with you home. Home is supposed to be a haven from stress and if you always have work and work-related annoyances in your head, you're going to get psychologically burned out in no time.
I know it's hard, but if you really are suffering I suggest you try finding another job. You don't mention to which alien land you went, but if it's inside the EU there should not be any work permit issues if you would decide to switch jobs.
I wish you the best of luck!
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