A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i need advice on a dating matter . i am an extremely shy person and i went on a date with a wonderful guy the problem is i drank before meeting him it gave me too much confidence i know how to handle my drink but wanted rid of all the nerves. no i didnt go back to his or get up to anything . we went into a pub we both hadnt been in before when i eventually came out the loo i couldnt find my date , i think he thought id just walked off and left him.He did text me saying i was fun but i never heard from him again i know i gave an awful first impression.I dont want to hound him with loads of messages but i want to have a 2nd date.What could I say to him to show him im not like I was on the first date?I already messaged him explaining what i did to give me confidence , apart from giving him time i dont know what else to do.I think deep down i know i blew my one and only chance but there's always hope he did say he liked me and i was fun im i just trying to fight a losing battle and should just move on ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2016): im the op. The pub we went in was very busy .There was a queue in the loo and only one toilet working thats the reason i took longer than usual , this was the opposite end to where we had been standing , he wasnt trying to get me drunk as i told him straight from the start i would buy all my own drinks , i also never left any of my drinks unattended
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (27 February 2016):
 I don't think you can do anything more than what you have already done, that is explaining yourself once already. Besides that,there could be a number of reasons he hasn't txt back yet. Men also adhere to dating, lets say etiquette, He might be doing the ol' how soon is to soon kinda thing not wanting to come off as to forward or maybe he is just being polite but still not interested. Sit back relax and if there is to be a next move, let him make it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2016): The clue is in the fact that you felt so nervous you drank too much and went to the loo for so long that he thought you'd bolted.If yoou were with someone who was the correct person for you, you should have felt both happy and confident, but you didnt .You hid behind the alcohol and disaapeared to the loo so long that he left alone, so you can safely assume that it didnt go well because if it had done you would not have taken these steps at all.The answer is to now let the guy go.You are not good for each other and I would suggest that you hold back off dating anyone until you really know them well as a friend.Then there should be no nerves and you should have no anxiety .Although this guy presented himself as wonderful to you, he wasnt wonderful enough or this situation would not have occurred,So be kind to yourself and look for someone who gives you a trully wonderful evening ,rather than someone who plys you with alcohol to break the tangible anxiety.Perhaps he had a wonderful plan to get you drunk,or slipped something into your drink in the hope that he could have his way with you before dumping you back on your doorstep in a drunken heap.Stay safe and avoid smooth pick ups with people you dont really know well enough to have a happy evening with.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 February 2016):
 I say move on and learn from this. You already explained it, and he did nothing. If he was interested, he would have accepted the explanation and asked you out again. He didn't.
Liquid courage is not for you, so tell the NEXT guy in advance that you are a bit shy and nervous about dating. That way you don't have to try and "fake" it with alcohol.
Everyone is a bit nervous on first dates. That is why it can be a god idea to make the first date short. Like lunch, going for coffee. And if there is a spark from BOTH sides, set up a second date. After a few dates you might start to relax.
It happens, stop beating yourself up and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2016): I would be the same there was nothing wrong with you I think you could maybe find someone else or if you do get courage speak to him again and see how it goes or I would just continue and see what happens who knows you could bump into someone you really like elsewhere
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