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female
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anonymous
writes: I don't know if I should break up with my fiance or not. I keep breaking up with him because I just feel unhappy a lot, but more so when he is gone (he's been on a 2month vacaction). So, I'm wondering if I'm just sad and miss him. He thinks I keep finding excuses to break up with him, and just dwell on the bad things instead of the good things. It's like I'm always looking for something wrong. The last time I tried to break up with him for good he flipped out and said he was going to kill himself. Though I didn't like this threat, I feel like I am messing up a good thing because if I love him and he loves me, what am I doing. I'm not saying our relationship is perfect, but when do you know if it's time to stay or go? He thinks I should go to the doctor and get on medication because I was diagnosed with bipolar. Other people say I'm not the problem, though, he is. Our relationship was great at the beginning, but after we got engaged I just felt like he was taking me for granted. I've expressed these things and he's apologized and tried to change, saying no one is perfect. Is something wrong with me, or is being unhappy and sign that something is truly wrong with the relationship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007): Hi, no there is nothing wrong with you at all. Sometimes in a relationship, it is easy to get into a rut and things become routine and eventually you can take each other for granted. Why dont you both sit down and see if you can start a new interest together so that you can get out of this rut, and even put one night a week aside for just the two of you to go out on a date, or stay in.
Its worth a try. Back when you met there was obviously a spark, but sometimes relationships need a kickstart again to get things back on track. The worst thing you can do is do nothing. If you are in doubt about your feelings, discuss with him. Communication is vitally important. without it, you cannot last.
Take care,
Jamie
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