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I can't tell by the signs if my housemate may be interested or not?

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm a gay woman and I've recently started fancying my house-mate. I don't know i) if she's intertested in women or ii) if she likes me. But here's what's happened:

1. We were out one-night with a group. And for pretty much the whole night she had her arm around me, including when we were walking home. (I didn't respond at the time as I had a girlfriend)

2. She smiles at me quite a lot and raises eyebrows etc (kind of flirtyish facial expressions)

3. She put her head on me on the sofa once when we were haging out with friends. We had had some wine.

4. She split up with her boyfriend a few weeks back (yes, boyfriend).

5. And she slept with him (her ex) about a week ago in the house whilst I was in (could hear!)

6. Sometimes I think she might like me, other times she hasn't got that much time for me or goes into her room early in the eve instead of hanging around downstairs like the rest of us.

So I don't know. Any ideas??

View related questions: flirt, split up

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011):

Thanks guys for all your advice! :)

To answer some of your points – yes, she def knows I’m into women – she knew this when she was being affectionate, but then again, we were on a night out and were drunk etc.

I have noticed she’s generally affectionate and very touchy feely (with her girly straight friends) but never with guys.

We’re not exactly close friends, I wouldn’t say we know each other very well. I am affectionate with my straight girl friends (in a platonic way) – but she is not really a close friend like them – which is why I’m noticing/wondering about it.

I’m wondering, would you sleep with your ex in the house if you liked your house-mate? I think probably not… Any ideas?

She strikes me as a kind of sincere person, not some-one who flirts with everyone.

I am gonna just wait and see what happens I think. I have been stung before (falling for straight girls) so don’t wanna put myself in that position again!

I think the idea of general chit chat to find out more if she is bi, is a good idea, though not sure how to do this without being completely obvious… as I think she might know I like her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011):

does she know you yourself are lesbian?did she know it when she put her arm around you etc..if yes,then maybe she's interested and is bi...if she doesn't know that you are into women then for sure she looks at you as a female friend!

many of us girls who are straight,as aunt honesty says, are touchy-feely with our friends ,unlike men!i often hold hands ,hug ,walk with arms on each others waist ,lie on my friends' lap ,and sometimes even pet or rub their backs.

especially when she's heartbroken,she might be looking for some maternal comfort in you as you are her roommate!

you could have a general chit-chat with her and try to dig out ...to know if she's bi-sexual or not! :)

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (15 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntMy guess is that she just looks to you as a female friend. Some girls can be very touchy feely with girl in a pure platonic way. Off course with you being a lesbian this is going to confuse you. But if am honest my guess is she is not attracted to you in the way that you think.

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