A
female
age
30-35,
*ucyWill
writes: There is a guy who got dumped 5 weeks ago very suddenly after two years with his girlfriend. We started talking because I had been through exactly the same thing almost 4 months before and knew how he was feeling. I really helped him out by having the experience and we got talking a lot. He found out she dumped him because she didn't accept who he was so that made it easier for him to move on. Gradually me and him started to like each other and have found we have a lot in common. Two days ago we started seeing each other, so we are basically going out with each other but telling no one so we can see if it will work for ourselves before making it official. We've both had our hearts broken and want to know that this is right for us. He started a foundation uni degree this September and the work load is pretty heavy causing him a lot of stress. Yesterday he lost it due to the stress building up and ended up lashing out. His uni have suggested he starts counselling. He doesn't care about anything at the moment, he can't be bothered to do anything, I don't think he's eating or sleeping, he's just thinking and says it isn't helping. I don't know what I can do to help him and I'm also worried about what will happen to us. I don't know if we are still seeing each other and I'm scared that he might turn round and tell me he doesn't want me anymore and I don't want to be hurt again. I want to be there for him but he doesn't want to talk to anyone. Also my ex has told me he still loves me after telling me he doesn't, I don't want him back, I want this new guy but is my ex saying this just because i've moved on and like someone else or does he mean it? I'm worried he may put the new guy off because he's threatened to punch him...How long will he feel like this? Will he still want me? How can I help him? What do I do? Please help. Scared and Confused...
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 November 2011):
He is just feeling really low at the moment, he is going through a bout of depression and honestly nobody can help him at the moment, you will probably just push him further away all you can do is let him know that you are there for him and leave it at that, if you try to hard you will only push him away further.
A
female
reader, LucyWill +, writes (15 November 2011):
LucyWill is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat if he doesn't ever want to talk to me? He says no one can make him feel better, not even himself...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 November 2011):
If you do not want to get back with your ex boyfriend well then you need to drop all contact with him, he is probably just jealous now because you are with someone else. Stop all the contact and tell him to leave you alone.
As for this other guy, well you need to stop worrying about things so early on. At the end of the day he is only out of a long term relationship 5 weeks ago. That is not a long time to recover that is probably why he is lashing out at the moment. He needs more time to come to term with things and what he wants in life. Am sure you do not want to be the rebound girl. So you need to take things slow with this guy. He is stressed at the moment because of everything that is going wrong in his life. Give him some space. Text him tell him you are worried about him and you are there to help him but that you will wait until he is ready to talk to you and then just leave it at that.
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