A
female
age
30-35,
*uubly100
writes:Having a little bit of boyfriend trouble.I'm 21, only one month into my first relationship.the other night before we went to bed my boyfriend told me that hed like me to meet his friends from home, but he's worried that they would tell me "all sorts of bad things about him." I asked "like what?", to which he started telling me in horribly graphic detail about all his past sexual experiences with girls. He is the first guy I have slept with-I wanted to wait until I did it with somebody I trusted. I feel really inexperienced, embarrassed and a little bit used but I don't know why. He was saying about all of this crazy stuff he'd done with girls-some of whom are his friends, and it just made me feel awful-like I was being compared to his previous girls.He then went on to explain that he'd slept with a lot of girls after a bad breakup. The next morning I noticed several facebook e-mails from his ex and It just really upset me.Is it normal for a guy to still speak to his ex whilst seeing someone else? Is it any of my business to ask? and why would he start telling me about all of his sexual experiences, knowing full well that I havn't had anything like that?I don't want to see him or anything this weekend because I'm really upset. I have trust issues and I feel like he's broken them but I don't know why-obviously everyone has a past. I'm aware I'm acting quite immaturely but I can't get the images of him with other girls out of my head, especially his ex-girlfriend. I am in the wrong here?Any help would be great xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2014): My blunt advice: break up with him now.
He is insensitive and/or oblivious and it will only get worse.
A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (8 February 2014):
 As it has been already hundreds of times on Dear Cupid (at least I suppose it) there is no need nor no use to tell in minute detail what one had as a sexual life before you. It can't be anything but troublesome and offending, and as in your case it raises a lot of questions about the guy (or the woman) we are with, how he (she) succeeded to charm us so easily, the credibility of what he (she) told us and what he (she) tells us currently...In the end, one may end wondering why, as a person gifted with a high degree of morality and dignity, why the hell we should stay with this... this what finally, we didn't understand a bit of what this person was made of, after all ?The question is for you to answer, do you really want to stay with a guy who "experimented" extreme sex with a regiment of easy girls ? For my part, if I discovered my girlfriend went through that sort of "debauchery tunnel" before me, I would put an end to our relationship. But it's a question of own philosophy of life, I guess. Besides, first deserve, and then desire.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2014): Okay your situation sounds similar to the one I was in. I had a boyfriend and we were together for a month and he was contacting his ex. I didn't say anything about it because I felt the relationship was new and I didn't want to be pushy or anything......I got cheated on. I personally think its normal to feel used when A guy has a lot more experience and your just a beginner. I lost my v-card recently to a guy who slept with girl before me and I love him so of course I was glad it happened with him but I didn't know if it meant as much to him as it did to me because hes done it before, I felt like I was just another female throwing myself at him and I felt used be he reassured me that it meant something to him, lol he cried. I also asked him about his sexual history but he never went into detail. like the other anon said, that was a dick move. if he had any respect or concern for your feelings he would of kept it to a minimum.. yes, at least hes honest but that's just flat out rude. its not immature you have a legitimate reason to feel this way and no you are not wrong. Nip it in the Butt girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2014): You don'thave to add your reason for waiting. It's very respectable and never be ashamed of that. As for your question, if he just flat out started telling you about his experiences in detail, that's a dick move. You did ask, but he should have at least had the decency to hold back on the details.
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