A
female
age
30-35,
*dwtampa
writes:i'm a virgin.i've fooled around a little but never done penetration.i thought my hymen was still intact,until a talk with a friend last night lead to some research,and all this time i had mistakenly thought my cervix was my hymen.then,realizing from what i'd seen in mirrors,i believe my hymen is broken.now,because i thought before it hadn't,i had been scared to have sex with my boyfriend when he came to visitthis is a long distance relationship.i was scared of the pain.but when i realized i didn't really have to worry now,i was ecstatic and told my boyfriend today.his response was...much less than enthusiastic.he says his brain understands it but that his pride was stung.he said he had wanted the honor of popping my cherry and that he had been looking forward to knowing what it felt like to pop a cherry.though he assured me this wasn't the only reason he wanted to have sex with me.what can i do about this?it hurts that he's so upset about this..i mean,he's not a real virgin either,he'd only done a litle anal which might not count as sex...so we decided he was like a half virgin.but i'm not upset he's already been in another woman,so why is he so upset my hymens already broken??i don't know how to talk to him about this.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Because he is a silly immature little boy! You can only lose your virginity when a penis enters the vagina, therefore you are clearly still a virgin. And even if your hymen was intact, he would not "feel" it popping so to speak - there is nothing to 'pop'! The hymen is so thin it just tears therefore he would not have felt anything, there would have been pain for you and then a bit of blood, but it would not feel any different for him. It would just have felt tight, but then again it will feel tight each time he has sex with you for a while because you are a virgin!
So just tell him this - explain that he could not "feel" anything popping if he had sex with a woman with her hymen intact, it feels the exact same as having sex with any other woman. Tell him that having sex with ANY virgin, hymen or no hymen, feels the same as it is just very tight down there and he will still feel like he has to force it in a little harder than he would when having sex with anyone who is not a virgin. Tell him that this is just a silly idea that boys have that is not based on any truth whatsovever, and that if he does actually want sex with you then he will grow up and stop being so silly because you dont want to lose your virginity to a silly little boy.
In today's society, where more women use tampons and play sports (like horse riding, gymnastics etc) it is more and more common for the hymen to already be broken from a young age. Therefore fewer women make it to their late teens and early 20's with a hymen, so it is actually quite rate nowadays to have one.
He is being so immature by acting like this, if he doesnt accept he is being silly and gets over it then make sure you think long and hard about if he is the right guy to lose your virginity to - you want it to be with someone special who cares about you, not with someone who just wants to know how it feels to "pop" something!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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